Urgent Legal Fees For My Mother - Read More Below
Donation protected
Hey there, folks.
The last year has been a long, messy road, as anyone who knows me is well aware - immigrating to the US to be with my wife, paying various legal costs, navigating interviews and paperwork. What you probably don't know is the story of my mother, who has had a very difficult 2018-19 of her own.
My mother is an incredible person. Forced to leave a toxic relationship with my father when I was still an infant, she nearly singlehandedly raised me with very little savings, working tirelessly as a mobile hairdresser - a career she chose specifically to give her the flexibility to spend more time with me as I grew up. For the first 18 years of my life, she was the sole breadwinner in our modest council flat home.
It was around the time I went off to college that she met my step-father. Not much needs to be said here other than that they were together for 6 years, had their ups and downs, and eventually realised the relationship just wasn't going to work out. At the start of 2018, they officially decided to divorce - which is, predictably, where the complications came in.
While my mother had wanted to continue working to grant herself some amount of financial independence, my stepfather - who earned a much larger salary - was quite insistent that my mother quit her job as we moved into a new house in a new area under his name. Given her past, she was hesitant to put this level of financial trust into him - but at the promise that he would give her some amount of financial security if their relationship didn't work out, she retired from her current career and began helping with his own business start-ups. Of course this promise didn't amount to much, as soon after the announcement of the divorce, she was locked out of our family home with little of her possessions and almost none of our savings. Her worst fears had come true - my step-father had been stripping away her financial independence so that, if he so desired, he would have full control to leave her with nothing.
Despite what you may have heard on the news, divorce is not a matter of simply taking half of everything the ex-husband has and giving it to the ex-wife. In fact, with my mother forced to move back into our old council flat home with a near-empty account and barely any furniture or possessions, it was an uphill struggle for her to get any kind of justice - the police, hesitant to get involved with a domestic dispute like this, and tremendous legal fees to dispute this matter. What little savings she had were spent on these legal fees, simply to come to some kind of settlement and get back some of what was hers. This would go on for a full year, my step-father obstinate at every turn. And so we come to today.
With a final court battle weeks from taking place, my mother still has substantial debts to be paid for her to continue getting advice and having legal representation when the court date arrives. While I have been trying to help financially with what I can, it simply isn't enough to cover everything we need. In short, for her to go to court with proper legal representation to hopefully reach some kind of fair settlement and get back some of what is hers, she will need 1500 pounds to cover her current debt and 1500 for the court date itself.
I know this is a lot to ask, and I'm sure some number of you will read this and say "Why doesn't she just go work for herself instead of trying to leech off of her ex?" To that I can only say that, having seen this situation firsthand, my mother is not being treated fairly in this situation - this was a couple who shared their finances, possessions and home for several years, a couple who only established this kind of financial dependence due to insistence from my step-father that a situation like this would not occur. My mother is not a "leech" - she has done everything she can to retain financial independence for decades, and in a moment of broken trust she has been left near-homeless and in tremendous debt.
To those who understand the situation my mother is in, or who have been in this situation themselves, I thank you for reading this. To anyone who can help, or to share this around, I cannot overstate how grateful I am to you. I wish you all the best, and I hope you all have a wonderful summer.
- Jack (@LackingSaint )
The last year has been a long, messy road, as anyone who knows me is well aware - immigrating to the US to be with my wife, paying various legal costs, navigating interviews and paperwork. What you probably don't know is the story of my mother, who has had a very difficult 2018-19 of her own.
My mother is an incredible person. Forced to leave a toxic relationship with my father when I was still an infant, she nearly singlehandedly raised me with very little savings, working tirelessly as a mobile hairdresser - a career she chose specifically to give her the flexibility to spend more time with me as I grew up. For the first 18 years of my life, she was the sole breadwinner in our modest council flat home.
It was around the time I went off to college that she met my step-father. Not much needs to be said here other than that they were together for 6 years, had their ups and downs, and eventually realised the relationship just wasn't going to work out. At the start of 2018, they officially decided to divorce - which is, predictably, where the complications came in.
While my mother had wanted to continue working to grant herself some amount of financial independence, my stepfather - who earned a much larger salary - was quite insistent that my mother quit her job as we moved into a new house in a new area under his name. Given her past, she was hesitant to put this level of financial trust into him - but at the promise that he would give her some amount of financial security if their relationship didn't work out, she retired from her current career and began helping with his own business start-ups. Of course this promise didn't amount to much, as soon after the announcement of the divorce, she was locked out of our family home with little of her possessions and almost none of our savings. Her worst fears had come true - my step-father had been stripping away her financial independence so that, if he so desired, he would have full control to leave her with nothing.
Despite what you may have heard on the news, divorce is not a matter of simply taking half of everything the ex-husband has and giving it to the ex-wife. In fact, with my mother forced to move back into our old council flat home with a near-empty account and barely any furniture or possessions, it was an uphill struggle for her to get any kind of justice - the police, hesitant to get involved with a domestic dispute like this, and tremendous legal fees to dispute this matter. What little savings she had were spent on these legal fees, simply to come to some kind of settlement and get back some of what was hers. This would go on for a full year, my step-father obstinate at every turn. And so we come to today.
With a final court battle weeks from taking place, my mother still has substantial debts to be paid for her to continue getting advice and having legal representation when the court date arrives. While I have been trying to help financially with what I can, it simply isn't enough to cover everything we need. In short, for her to go to court with proper legal representation to hopefully reach some kind of fair settlement and get back some of what is hers, she will need 1500 pounds to cover her current debt and 1500 for the court date itself.
I know this is a lot to ask, and I'm sure some number of you will read this and say "Why doesn't she just go work for herself instead of trying to leech off of her ex?" To that I can only say that, having seen this situation firsthand, my mother is not being treated fairly in this situation - this was a couple who shared their finances, possessions and home for several years, a couple who only established this kind of financial dependence due to insistence from my step-father that a situation like this would not occur. My mother is not a "leech" - she has done everything she can to retain financial independence for decades, and in a moment of broken trust she has been left near-homeless and in tremendous debt.
To those who understand the situation my mother is in, or who have been in this situation themselves, I thank you for reading this. To anyone who can help, or to share this around, I cannot overstate how grateful I am to you. I wish you all the best, and I hope you all have a wonderful summer.
- Jack (@LackingSaint )
Organizer and beneficiary
Jack Saint
Organizer
England
Donna Chesterman
Beneficiary