Moving Out From A Toxic Enviroment
Donation protected
I don't even know how to even like start this off honestly cause this is all so sudden even to me so I'll just go off and give you some backstory, the current situation, and the reason why this is being made. First off, I have to preface this, I DO NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS but as of right now it seems like this is my last resort. Normally when I make a GoFundMe it's for a computer change but this is pretty serious compared as it's one of those decisions that'll effect my life and my mental health.
My name is Nicholas, Nick, Sacred, SacredAlmighty, whatever you wanna call me. By now it doesn't really matter but I'm from Chicago. I grew up in a not so wealthy family but was still able to be provided for by my Mother, Grandmothers, and newly accepted father figure, my Step-Father Brandon. I grew up with a family full of nothing but women along with my little brothers and my cousin and as you can tell have been spoiled when it came to discipline but I still got my ass beat LMAOOO of course. Let's just say overtime the term family runs its course unfortunately. So there's a lot of trauma in my upbringing.
As a teenager I was always the rebellious one. I hated authority but I hated school more specifically. It just wasn't for me, otherwise I would have went to college ages ago, but I just felt like I wanted to do/be more in my life. I always respected the city jobs like police officers and firefighters and obviously besides the firefighters position, with the news nowadays that view of police officers has kind of been tainted so that was out of the window especially growing up in the city it was terrible to be treated the way I have and hearing stories from friends, it was just a overall bad look. I just didn't like how the high schools were ran and how they weren't preparing us for the stuff I pretty much learned through YouTube when it came to paying taxes eventually, having credit once I turned 18, and money management just wasn't taught there. It also didn't help that every school I went to the kids tried to prey on my lil brother and I had to get into endless fights to protect him.
YouTube was always an escape for me growing up as I always seemed to be getting in fights whenever it came to THIS versus my schooling. All of my friends can tell you stories of how I'd get my laptop taken, HUGE FIGHTS where me running away for some nights/days were the result even for topics that weren't revolved around school would cause them and it was just overall a toxic experience. Mind you this is all happening as I was in the process of mourning the loss of one of my biggest father figures growing up, my Uncle. He was like the "Go To" for the moral compass that I have kind of taken and warped into my own way to becoming a Man. To this day it's safe to say I haven't mourned all the way as I still miss and think of him pretty often ESPECIALLY with the more recent loss of my Aunt who passed around the same week as he did. Just a heavy emotional 3 weeks for me. My energy just hasn't been the same since this month has started but of course you have to save face and get what you need done regardless.
Unfortunately I want to say I've been all over the place to being with my mom to now being with my Great Grandmother who has taken in my Aunt side of the family (So her, her 2 kids, and 1 of them having a special needs son that demands constant care and the other only being here just to drop off clothes in his room) and let's just say THAT'S where the toxicity comes from. YouTube/Content Creation itself has/is shaping up to be something that's pretty serious for me. It's a passion of mine and I LOVE just waking up, recording videos and streaming, being apart of projects that have helped people go through their days like ... you can't make this up, I HAVE SOME TYPE OF ROLE even if it is small to some it's important to me. It's where majority of my income comes from and the only source of flexibility and support I can get is from my Mom, Stepdad, Grandmother & Grandfather who most of the money has helped and gone to as well as bills that I help around here with my Great Grandmother. I've stayed with my grandmother since I was 16 along with my little brother, I'm about to turn 23 now and so far so much has happened. My aunt/cousins have pressured and bullied my little brother out of the house to stay with my mom and stepdad who are currently trying to rebuild their credit while he was going to college and obviously that comes with various physical/verbal altercations defending him and a lot of things have been said that have made me HATE that side of the family. They make it seem like we didn't do anything around the house when truth be told we do so much around here. They talk about us not giving her money, mind you my Grandma gave him the OK to stay here rent free while he goes to school, but they pressured and bullied him for not bringing in money while doing everything around the house helping her out managing the house. When it comes to me, the last altercation we had I basically told them to fuck off. Don't ask me for anything nd don't talk to me since that's the altercation where they said/did what they did toward my little brother and Me. I'm basically just helping my grandma (85) by myself and watching over her and trying to give her leftover funds while all they do is go out, leave her/me to tend to their special needs son, cook food for them that they DON'T EAT, and when confronted about her coming up short on bills talk about how so much money they have and yet pressure ME to give more. I'm being treated like a kid when i reality besides driving my Grandma around the house, I help her keep the house looking/being good. This isn't to discredit my Aunt at all she helps around sometimes too but she sleeps during the day and works during the night, it's kind of out of her means to help out cleaning and fixing stuff but when she does she does. It's probably the MAIN REASON why I haven't moved out yet and the BIG REASON why I'm here today. They just have their heads so far up their asses and so high on their high horse that they don't see what they've done to the family. Most if not all of the problems within the family come that my Aunt side of the family as their the "Bitter But Act Bigger" type of people while everybody else is trying to rebuild their credit and work on themselves. It's just TOXIC and I hate it. I hate having to stay in a house where I can ONLY eat out unless I'm accidentally eating their food and by then it becomes a big argument. I hate not being able to walk around a 5b house without having stares and small conversations about me about how I don't do anything when that just isn't true. I bring the less load in the house vs my cousins who have CLUTTERED the garage with 5 year old stuff AND EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER'S ROOM that has nothing of hers besides her bed, dresser, and closet. Every corner belongs to them.
HONESTLY, I just want to use the money made through this as a means to just get out. I'll be moving to these apartments that are like $860-$990 a month depending on space and around my Mother who lives around the local grocery store and if anything SUPPORTS ME when it comes to making this despite how prideful I am regarding this situation. I will be putting all YouTube, Twitch, Merchandise, Patreon, Donations everything towards funding this as well but this is the page for you guys to KNOW what all this money is going towards. I've been silent regarding this for years now even to most of my friends. If anything I want to apologize to them directly for just being a trash friend to them instead of being open and more social with them. That's in the past though and they couldn't have known so it is what it is. It's just wild to me like how many people have told me how much my content has affected them on a personal level in their dark times when in reality the feeling is mutual but at this point in time this dark time has to come to an end eventually.
Thank you.
My name is Nicholas, Nick, Sacred, SacredAlmighty, whatever you wanna call me. By now it doesn't really matter but I'm from Chicago. I grew up in a not so wealthy family but was still able to be provided for by my Mother, Grandmothers, and newly accepted father figure, my Step-Father Brandon. I grew up with a family full of nothing but women along with my little brothers and my cousin and as you can tell have been spoiled when it came to discipline but I still got my ass beat LMAOOO of course. Let's just say overtime the term family runs its course unfortunately. So there's a lot of trauma in my upbringing.
As a teenager I was always the rebellious one. I hated authority but I hated school more specifically. It just wasn't for me, otherwise I would have went to college ages ago, but I just felt like I wanted to do/be more in my life. I always respected the city jobs like police officers and firefighters and obviously besides the firefighters position, with the news nowadays that view of police officers has kind of been tainted so that was out of the window especially growing up in the city it was terrible to be treated the way I have and hearing stories from friends, it was just a overall bad look. I just didn't like how the high schools were ran and how they weren't preparing us for the stuff I pretty much learned through YouTube when it came to paying taxes eventually, having credit once I turned 18, and money management just wasn't taught there. It also didn't help that every school I went to the kids tried to prey on my lil brother and I had to get into endless fights to protect him.
YouTube was always an escape for me growing up as I always seemed to be getting in fights whenever it came to THIS versus my schooling. All of my friends can tell you stories of how I'd get my laptop taken, HUGE FIGHTS where me running away for some nights/days were the result even for topics that weren't revolved around school would cause them and it was just overall a toxic experience. Mind you this is all happening as I was in the process of mourning the loss of one of my biggest father figures growing up, my Uncle. He was like the "Go To" for the moral compass that I have kind of taken and warped into my own way to becoming a Man. To this day it's safe to say I haven't mourned all the way as I still miss and think of him pretty often ESPECIALLY with the more recent loss of my Aunt who passed around the same week as he did. Just a heavy emotional 3 weeks for me. My energy just hasn't been the same since this month has started but of course you have to save face and get what you need done regardless.
Unfortunately I want to say I've been all over the place to being with my mom to now being with my Great Grandmother who has taken in my Aunt side of the family (So her, her 2 kids, and 1 of them having a special needs son that demands constant care and the other only being here just to drop off clothes in his room) and let's just say THAT'S where the toxicity comes from. YouTube/Content Creation itself has/is shaping up to be something that's pretty serious for me. It's a passion of mine and I LOVE just waking up, recording videos and streaming, being apart of projects that have helped people go through their days like ... you can't make this up, I HAVE SOME TYPE OF ROLE even if it is small to some it's important to me. It's where majority of my income comes from and the only source of flexibility and support I can get is from my Mom, Stepdad, Grandmother & Grandfather who most of the money has helped and gone to as well as bills that I help around here with my Great Grandmother. I've stayed with my grandmother since I was 16 along with my little brother, I'm about to turn 23 now and so far so much has happened. My aunt/cousins have pressured and bullied my little brother out of the house to stay with my mom and stepdad who are currently trying to rebuild their credit while he was going to college and obviously that comes with various physical/verbal altercations defending him and a lot of things have been said that have made me HATE that side of the family. They make it seem like we didn't do anything around the house when truth be told we do so much around here. They talk about us not giving her money, mind you my Grandma gave him the OK to stay here rent free while he goes to school, but they pressured and bullied him for not bringing in money while doing everything around the house helping her out managing the house. When it comes to me, the last altercation we had I basically told them to fuck off. Don't ask me for anything nd don't talk to me since that's the altercation where they said/did what they did toward my little brother and Me. I'm basically just helping my grandma (85) by myself and watching over her and trying to give her leftover funds while all they do is go out, leave her/me to tend to their special needs son, cook food for them that they DON'T EAT, and when confronted about her coming up short on bills talk about how so much money they have and yet pressure ME to give more. I'm being treated like a kid when i reality besides driving my Grandma around the house, I help her keep the house looking/being good. This isn't to discredit my Aunt at all she helps around sometimes too but she sleeps during the day and works during the night, it's kind of out of her means to help out cleaning and fixing stuff but when she does she does. It's probably the MAIN REASON why I haven't moved out yet and the BIG REASON why I'm here today. They just have their heads so far up their asses and so high on their high horse that they don't see what they've done to the family. Most if not all of the problems within the family come that my Aunt side of the family as their the "Bitter But Act Bigger" type of people while everybody else is trying to rebuild their credit and work on themselves. It's just TOXIC and I hate it. I hate having to stay in a house where I can ONLY eat out unless I'm accidentally eating their food and by then it becomes a big argument. I hate not being able to walk around a 5b house without having stares and small conversations about me about how I don't do anything when that just isn't true. I bring the less load in the house vs my cousins who have CLUTTERED the garage with 5 year old stuff AND EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER'S ROOM that has nothing of hers besides her bed, dresser, and closet. Every corner belongs to them.
HONESTLY, I just want to use the money made through this as a means to just get out. I'll be moving to these apartments that are like $860-$990 a month depending on space and around my Mother who lives around the local grocery store and if anything SUPPORTS ME when it comes to making this despite how prideful I am regarding this situation. I will be putting all YouTube, Twitch, Merchandise, Patreon, Donations everything towards funding this as well but this is the page for you guys to KNOW what all this money is going towards. I've been silent regarding this for years now even to most of my friends. If anything I want to apologize to them directly for just being a trash friend to them instead of being open and more social with them. That's in the past though and they couldn't have known so it is what it is. It's just wild to me like how many people have told me how much my content has affected them on a personal level in their dark times when in reality the feeling is mutual but at this point in time this dark time has to come to an end eventually.
Thank you.
Organizer
Nick Barnes
Organizer
Merrillville, IN