Healing and Hope for Samuel
Donation protected
We have a story to tell. A story of healing and hope. A story of a precious 3 month-old baby boy deemed by the child abuse specialist "at risk of fatal injury without immediate intervention" when admitted to the hospital for severe physical abuse. Because this little guy is our foster child, we cannot share his identity with you, nor post pictures of him. You’ll have to trust us when we tell you his big, blue eyes and irresistible grin will charm your socks right off! We cannot use his real name in a public forum either, so we’re going to call him Samuel for now. We have a story to tell you about Samuel.
God gave Mark and I hearts united in loving and caring for children from hard places. We began our parenting journey with a biological son, 18 foster children, and then a biological daughter. We adopted 2 children internationally, and then returned to the foster care world a year and a half ago. We've had 6 more foster children since then. Having both biological and adopted children, we can testify to the fact that growing a family through adoption is every bit the miracle and joy of doing so through the more “traditional method." When we returned to fostering however, we simply wanted to open our home and hearts once again to children who needed a safe and loving family situation while their parents got things turned around. (85% of foster children are reunified with their biological families.) But God had another plan.
The phone call came at 12:15pm on March 20th, 2015. It was the County Foster Care Unit, asking if we could provide care for a 3-month old baby with multiple broken bones and bruises. He would be fragile, and very irritable from pain for a period of time while he healed. I was immediately physically sick to my stomach and had to take several deep breaths to prevent being ill on the kitchen floor. This was not the kind of foster care we were expecting. We had never fostered a child so severely abused before, much less a tiny baby. I wasn’t sure I was emotionally prepared for this, and knew we were not logistically prepared! Our youngest child was 8 at the time, and we had nothing to care for a baby. No bottles, stroller, car seat, clothes, diapers, etc… With a quick phone call to Mark at work, and a 60 second conversation debating our willingness to sacrifice the uninterrupted sleep at night that we enjoyed now for many years, we made the decision to walk through the ministry door God had opened before us. Little did we know what we were getting into!
At 3:30pm that day, our 18-month old foster child returned to her family as previously scheduled. (God's timing is SO perfect!!) At 4:30pm, Mark arrived home from work with a quickly obtained Craig’s List stroller and infant car seat. By 6:00pm, I was at the Children's Hospital, and Samuel was in my arms.
The social worker sent 3 month old Samuel home with me in the only thing she could find – a size 3T pajama outfit. He was quite a sight. We made a stop at Target for the essentials, and then watched as the Lord moved in amazing ways over the next few weeks, providing everything we needed to care for this little one. Friends and strangers alike sent diapers, clothing, formula, video baby monitor, diaper bag, gift cards large and small, furniture (including an anonymously sent rocker glider), etc.. We were overwhelmed to tears on more than one occasion as we witnessed so much love and generosity being poured out over this tiny baby.
At the time of Samuel’s placement with us, he had 4 broken ribs, very severe genital bruising, and bruising on his abdomen, neck, thighs, and knees. I was required to take him for a full body x-ray scan 2 weeks later. He’d gone through so much trauma already, and now had to be strapped to the cold, hard table, naked and screaming, while more x-rays were taken. I'm not sure whether Samuel or I shed more tears that day. The new scans revealed a 5th broken rib, and 2 breaks in his right lower leg. The breaks were at various stages of healing, indicating multiple incidents of abuse over Samuel's short 3 months of life.
So where are we now in Samuel's story, thirteen months post placement in our home? Parental rights were terminated in December, two days after his 1 year birthday. He is now a ward of the state, and in need of a permanent adoptive family. We would like to be that family to him. Samuel’s physical injuries have healed. He is beautiful, happy and thriving! There has been emotional and mental health consequences however, as a result of the egregious terror and trauma he sustained in those early months of life. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) by an Infant Mental Health Specialist. If you didn't know until now that there was such a thing, don’t feel bad. Neither did we. But we’ve become all too familiar with it this past year, as we’ve lived in the laboratory of life with a young child with a trauma history.
Samuel is 16 months old now. Thirteen of his 16 months of life have been spent in our home and care. He’s become securely and strongly attached to us as his parent figures and caregivers, and to our children as his siblings. Disrupting Samuel from these significant relationships would cause further major emotional trauma for him, and possibly prevent him from recovering fully from the PTSD. The most important healing factor in a young child's life following trauma is a safe and trusted primary caregiver attachment. Samuel has that with our family, and me in particular as "Momma." The medical and mental health professionals do not want to see Samuel moved, and the County has recommended us as his adoptive family. We love him to the moon and back, and are committed to doing whatever it takes to help him heal from his early trauma experiences.
We signed the adoption placement agreement with the County, but our adoption petition was contested by another interested party, meaning we have been pulled into a legal battle we had hoped to avoid. As of just last week, we were successful in the lower Court, but the process has left us with substantial legal fees. Thus far, we’ve incurred approximately $20,000 in attorney and legal fees, in the interest of protecting Samuel’s well-being. At this point, we don't know if there will be more steps ahead in the legal process or not, but we do know that Samuel needs us , and God has given us the opportunity to be an instrument of healing and hope for this little guy. We won't walk away from that.
By donating to Samuel's campaign, you will be standing with us in the battle for his future - a future where he can heal from his tragic beginnings. Will you join us?
Will you also please pray for full emotional healing for Samuel, and for peace for Mark and I and our children as we travel this long and difficult road to becoming Samuel's adoptive family? We struggle with our anxieties daily, and have to remind ourselves and each other that God is ultimately in control, and we can trust Him.
On behalf of Samuel and our family, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being a part of this story of healing and hope.
God bless you!
P.S. If campaign donations happen to exceed our legal fees when the entire process is complete, the money will be used toward a 12 passenger van. While there is room in our home and room in our hearts for more children, there is no more room in the mini-van! With 4 children of our own (one of whom is 6' 2" tall!), Samuel, another baby we are currently fostering, and two dogs, the standard mini-van just isn't working anymore. If you know where we can get a good, used, 12 person van CHEAP, please let us know! :)
God gave Mark and I hearts united in loving and caring for children from hard places. We began our parenting journey with a biological son, 18 foster children, and then a biological daughter. We adopted 2 children internationally, and then returned to the foster care world a year and a half ago. We've had 6 more foster children since then. Having both biological and adopted children, we can testify to the fact that growing a family through adoption is every bit the miracle and joy of doing so through the more “traditional method." When we returned to fostering however, we simply wanted to open our home and hearts once again to children who needed a safe and loving family situation while their parents got things turned around. (85% of foster children are reunified with their biological families.) But God had another plan.
The phone call came at 12:15pm on March 20th, 2015. It was the County Foster Care Unit, asking if we could provide care for a 3-month old baby with multiple broken bones and bruises. He would be fragile, and very irritable from pain for a period of time while he healed. I was immediately physically sick to my stomach and had to take several deep breaths to prevent being ill on the kitchen floor. This was not the kind of foster care we were expecting. We had never fostered a child so severely abused before, much less a tiny baby. I wasn’t sure I was emotionally prepared for this, and knew we were not logistically prepared! Our youngest child was 8 at the time, and we had nothing to care for a baby. No bottles, stroller, car seat, clothes, diapers, etc… With a quick phone call to Mark at work, and a 60 second conversation debating our willingness to sacrifice the uninterrupted sleep at night that we enjoyed now for many years, we made the decision to walk through the ministry door God had opened before us. Little did we know what we were getting into!
At 3:30pm that day, our 18-month old foster child returned to her family as previously scheduled. (God's timing is SO perfect!!) At 4:30pm, Mark arrived home from work with a quickly obtained Craig’s List stroller and infant car seat. By 6:00pm, I was at the Children's Hospital, and Samuel was in my arms.
The social worker sent 3 month old Samuel home with me in the only thing she could find – a size 3T pajama outfit. He was quite a sight. We made a stop at Target for the essentials, and then watched as the Lord moved in amazing ways over the next few weeks, providing everything we needed to care for this little one. Friends and strangers alike sent diapers, clothing, formula, video baby monitor, diaper bag, gift cards large and small, furniture (including an anonymously sent rocker glider), etc.. We were overwhelmed to tears on more than one occasion as we witnessed so much love and generosity being poured out over this tiny baby.
At the time of Samuel’s placement with us, he had 4 broken ribs, very severe genital bruising, and bruising on his abdomen, neck, thighs, and knees. I was required to take him for a full body x-ray scan 2 weeks later. He’d gone through so much trauma already, and now had to be strapped to the cold, hard table, naked and screaming, while more x-rays were taken. I'm not sure whether Samuel or I shed more tears that day. The new scans revealed a 5th broken rib, and 2 breaks in his right lower leg. The breaks were at various stages of healing, indicating multiple incidents of abuse over Samuel's short 3 months of life.
So where are we now in Samuel's story, thirteen months post placement in our home? Parental rights were terminated in December, two days after his 1 year birthday. He is now a ward of the state, and in need of a permanent adoptive family. We would like to be that family to him. Samuel’s physical injuries have healed. He is beautiful, happy and thriving! There has been emotional and mental health consequences however, as a result of the egregious terror and trauma he sustained in those early months of life. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) by an Infant Mental Health Specialist. If you didn't know until now that there was such a thing, don’t feel bad. Neither did we. But we’ve become all too familiar with it this past year, as we’ve lived in the laboratory of life with a young child with a trauma history.
Samuel is 16 months old now. Thirteen of his 16 months of life have been spent in our home and care. He’s become securely and strongly attached to us as his parent figures and caregivers, and to our children as his siblings. Disrupting Samuel from these significant relationships would cause further major emotional trauma for him, and possibly prevent him from recovering fully from the PTSD. The most important healing factor in a young child's life following trauma is a safe and trusted primary caregiver attachment. Samuel has that with our family, and me in particular as "Momma." The medical and mental health professionals do not want to see Samuel moved, and the County has recommended us as his adoptive family. We love him to the moon and back, and are committed to doing whatever it takes to help him heal from his early trauma experiences.
We signed the adoption placement agreement with the County, but our adoption petition was contested by another interested party, meaning we have been pulled into a legal battle we had hoped to avoid. As of just last week, we were successful in the lower Court, but the process has left us with substantial legal fees. Thus far, we’ve incurred approximately $20,000 in attorney and legal fees, in the interest of protecting Samuel’s well-being. At this point, we don't know if there will be more steps ahead in the legal process or not, but we do know that Samuel needs us , and God has given us the opportunity to be an instrument of healing and hope for this little guy. We won't walk away from that.
By donating to Samuel's campaign, you will be standing with us in the battle for his future - a future where he can heal from his tragic beginnings. Will you join us?
Will you also please pray for full emotional healing for Samuel, and for peace for Mark and I and our children as we travel this long and difficult road to becoming Samuel's adoptive family? We struggle with our anxieties daily, and have to remind ourselves and each other that God is ultimately in control, and we can trust Him.
On behalf of Samuel and our family, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being a part of this story of healing and hope.
God bless you!
P.S. If campaign donations happen to exceed our legal fees when the entire process is complete, the money will be used toward a 12 passenger van. While there is room in our home and room in our hearts for more children, there is no more room in the mini-van! With 4 children of our own (one of whom is 6' 2" tall!), Samuel, another baby we are currently fostering, and two dogs, the standard mini-van just isn't working anymore. If you know where we can get a good, used, 12 person van CHEAP, please let us know! :)
Organizer
Jean Deming
Organizer
Farmington, MN