HELP ME BEAT ANOREXIA

Over the past 7 years, I have been in and out of hospital with an Eating Disorder and most recently diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa at 11 years old.  My story is to help raise awareness of girls and boys my age living with this illness and to help fund my way to America to follow my passion in dance.   

All donations over my goal target will be donated to the Butterfly Foundation.  The Butterfly Foundation is Australia’s national helpline providing personalized and confidential support for people with an eating disorder, people with body image issues, carers, partners, family and friends, teachers, counsellors, employers, health professional or anyone with questions about eating disorders or body image.  

My story:

When I was a toddler I enjoyed all types of food until one day I stopped eating the meals I once loved.  My parents thought I was going through a fussy eating phase.  By age 4 I would sit in front of my mirror pinching and pulling at my skin until it was red and at times bleed.  From this point, my meals were limited to eating less than a fistful of food for one or two meals per day.  I became moody, couldn’t sleep and I was always cold – even wearing a jumper in the middle of summer. I had my first hospitalization just before Easter 2010.  I refused to eat for the first week of the admission and I was placed on medication to help reduce my anxiety.  Its main side effect helping to increase my appetite. 

When I returned to school, I was placed on a 1200 calorie meal plan, which was supervised.  This I did not like.  When the teachers were busy and I wasn’t being supervised, I convinced other kids to eat my meals.  I was constantly trying to make myself throw up, as I was so scared to put on weight. 

Weekly hospital appointments followed for the next few years, with another admission taking place 2 days before my 7th birthday.  When I was discharged, my parents decided to take a different approach to my eating, taking away all focus around food, weigh-ins and hospital appointments.  This gave me the control over what I could and could not eat.  Over time, my meals slowly started to decrease in size and I started to drop my snacks.  Eventually, I started not eating my lunch, followed by dinner and I would only have a small breakfast each day – a 2 year old would consume more food for breakfast than I would in an entire day. 

Most days I would look in the mirror and I would be upset by what I saw.  My parents would tell me I would need to eat to "refuel the car".  This only made me more upset and more determined to lose more weight – I was never happy with what I saw in my reflection.  My parents hated when I would sit on their lap or try to cuddle them, as they hated when my bones would dig into them.  I never understood this as I only saw fat and being cuddly.

In the next 4 years I grew between 1 and 2cm a year and put on 1kg per year.  At age 11, I weighed 27kg and was 138cm in height.  The doctors told me I was malnourished and had lost quite a bit of bone density and calcium and had lost 5cm off my overall adult height.   These statistics didn’t encourage me to eat and my parents took me back to the Eating Disorder clinic for assessment.

Over the next few months, I attended weekly medical appointments at the hospital as they monitored my weight and over well-being.  At each appointment my weight would continue to drop and I needed to give up all dancing and any sporting activities.  This was extremely hard for me to handle, which led my weight to decrease and I was placed back into hospital.  It was on this admission that I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.  This admission lasted 5 weeks before I was discharged and my mum was required to cease work to monitor all meals, even during school time. Within 2 weeks, my old food habits returned and my weight slowly started to decline and 5 weeks later, I was back in hospital for stabilization.

By the third week of this admission, I was still being fed through a nasal tube as I was struggling to complete or attempt my meals.  During this stay, I was allowed to visit a dance school in my local area.  During this visit, I was inspired and wanted to change my life and beat Anorexia.  Within days I was completing all meals and after 6 weeks I was allowed to go home.

Since being home (6 weeks), I am getting stronger and I am making changes.  Food is still hard to manage everyday, but I’m wanting to make the change.  Why do I want to make this change?  It was the positive attitude of meeting my new dance instructor, who gave me the passion for dance and to have a goal to work towards.  I have been asked to join her dance studio to perform at Nationals in Las Vegas in 2018.  This has been a dream for many years, but I never thought I could be given this opportunity, to travel accross the world to perform in the biggest entertainment capital.

This is giving me the motiviation to beat Anorexia and to live a long and healthy life.  

All proceeds over 5K will be donated to the Butterfly Foundation, to help other boys and girls have access to early intervention.

If you can help in anyway, I will be forever grateful no matter how big or small your donation.