Safe and Sound

Dear Friends, Family and Those I have yet to meet,

For those who don't know me: Hi, I'm Angela.

This is one of the hardest things I've had to write. It goes against how I was raised. My father came to the States with $50 in his pocket and abided by a mandate that we don't ask for handouts; we work. He believed this country gave everyone the opportunity to work. He never applied for social services nor asked for handouts.

Unfortunately, my circumstances have put me at an intersection where I've had to go against a family motto. I am standing at the roundabout of a high-conflict divorce self-represented, where the safety and well-being of the children are not protected. Most of my support has been removed because I am not getting due process. And I was resurrecting a career after a 12-year absence in the middle of a pandemic. Most would call this an impossible trifecta. I've had to go on social services, and now I am asking for help for my girls. Their safety and mental health is my number one concern.

I have two daughters, currently ages 15 and 10. I was a stay-at-home mom for the first 12 years of their lives. It was the parenting plan I aimed to create for my children since I was 17.

If you know me and follow any of my social media platforms, you know how deep my love for my children runs. I've been fully present since day one, attempting to provide them with a "Norman Rockwell" kind of childhood. I've studied and researched the art of parenting for decades. I took childhood psychology (and three prerequisites before it) in college because I knew I wanted to be a mother one day. My girls and I were very close because of how I parented them and because I became their default main caregiver. Our days were filled with adventures, learning, art, cooking, sports, music and love. We traveled overseas and across the country. We made long road trips and camped; every trip was infused with an element of education.

At first, their dad was a part of the adventures and on board with the plan. Even while dating, both of our careers were curated around the program for me to be a stay-at-home mother. During our separation, we both agreed to keep this arrangement intact. He was happy with the limited time he was spending with the children. However, in 2019, when I filed for divorce due to the long abusive circumstance of the marriage, he suddenly wanted full custody of both. It's been three years of heavy litigation. I have been Pro-Se (self-represented) for the last two years. The court has been unwilling to grant legal fees despite my ex being the sole breadwinner and his being represented throughout our divorce.

At the beginning of 2020, I attempted to resurrect my career. It was a challenging year. Still, I did what I could and offered my graphic design, logo creation and website maintenance skills for free to non-profits to start building client relationships. I have gathered a client list but not large enough to support our expenses.

Meanwhile, my children were falling apart, especially my oldest, who was hit the hardest by the divorce and pandemic shutdown. Her entire world was changing, and she couldn't control any of it. I could not be as present for her as I always had been. I was trying to put food on the table and a roof over our heads and preparing for court every two months without legal representation. Out of the blue, on March 7, 2021, she went to live with her father. For 11 weeks, she was not allowed contact with anyone but her father. I have not seen her since. Her father was given full legal and physical custody after false allegations were made that I abused her. In his care, she has been hospitalized three times.

My youngest has had her share of trauma. However, I found a therapist who has taught her many skillsets to help her cope with the situation. She's been a God-send. I am paying for her services 100%. Good therapists are not cheap. Even with all the help, my youngest still routinely suffers from stomachaches and headaches. Both symptoms appeared in early 2020 when increased forced visitations began.

The court has ordered that I only see my oldest through a court-selected conjoint therapist. The therapist requires a $2500 retainer and is $350 a session. I am asking for help to raise funds so I can see my oldest and continue my youngest's therapy sessions. The $25,000 I am asking for is to cover the retainer and weekly therapy sessions for both girls for the next six months while I find employment and get us back on our feet. Any additional funds raised will help cover monthly expenses such as utilities and services.

My fight is not with him. My fight is to keep my girls safe both physically and mentally. Therapy is a must for a situation like ours. In the end, the girls will age out of this court system, but they will arrive at this mile marker either shattered and unable to become fulfilled humans or stronger from what they overcame and thrive. I need help to keep them strong. I do not have the funds to pay for this week's session. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

With much love and appreciation,

Angela