Charlotte was taken from us too soon
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I have updated the fundraiser for my cousin Nancy and her spouse Nicolas. Sadly they lost their 3 year old daughter in January. Below is a letter Nancy wrote about her last days with her daughter Charlotte. Her Funeral is set for February 9th. Thank you to those who have helped cover the costs for Charlotte's celebration of life. We are almost half way to our goal, my hopes are to raise enough money to allow Nancy and Nicolas some time to grieve without worrying about finances. Any donation big or small is so greatly appreciated. Thank you again for all the loving support and kindness. The following was originally written in French and was translated into english.
Hello,
I'm Nancy Bouchard. I'm a college student in history with minor in museology. I work as a team leader in a dollorama to help my spouse with the costs for the house. But I'm mostly a mother.
Recently, I had a shock, because my 3-Year-old daughter Charlotte Mantha died of influenza. On Monday, January 14, 2019, she was healthy and went to daycare all day. She started having a fever around 4pm and the daycare worker gave her Tylenol which seemed to help her. Thirty minutes later I was going to pick her up. That night, nothing showed me the gravity of the situation. She looked like all the normal little girls when they catch a little flu, she was a little more snarling and had a little less energy. She still kept eating, we watched a family movie, then as usual, she refused to go to bed and because she wanted to sleep with mommy.
That night, I called the daycare to let them know I might be taking the day off. During the night, I had to get up frequently to breastfeed my 5-Month-old baby So I had time to rethink it and despite my fatigue I listened to my mother instinct and took my day off. I thought no matter what time she woke up, I'd spend a mother-daughter day with her. Finally, she woke up around 10, she came to me in my bed. I didn't dare to move without knowing if she wanted to sleep or not. She seemed tired, but I finally told her that I was keeping her at home with me and that we were going to bed to watch movies. I asked her what she wanted to eat. She told me some toast. So I told her to wait in bed and I'd come back with lunch. I made us each toast, and a bowl of strawberries, a bowl of cheese and a chocolate milk. She ate everything! We were having a good time, even though she was still having a little fever. I gave her Tylenol around 10 and around 3, she seemed tired. So I tried to get her to take a nap, but this is Liam, my youngest who was agitated and didn't want to sleep. When one of them if, the other cried and woke the first and so on. I even haggled my daughter because she didn't want to sleep, and that's when I had to lock myself in the bathroom to cry and calm down. Normally my daughter follows me like a stick of glue and doesn't want me to be alone for two seconds, but this time she was asleep when I went up to see her in my room and shortly after it was her brother who fell asleep . So I went to bed next to her.
We woke up for dinner, I made soup. My spouse was working overtime because he works in factories and when there is a shutdown, he has to finish the job as soon as possible. He worked 12 hours on Saturday, 12 hours on Monday and 14 hours on Tuesday. So, at dinner, I'm alone at home with both kids. I don't know what time my spouse will finish working. After dinner, where my daughter had a little less eaten, but she still ate a little, we went to the living room, watched another movie. It's after the movie that I'm starting to lose the notion of time more. I gave her more Motrin around 5pm but at the end of the movie around 7 pm, her temperature was rising. She told me she had a stomach pain since the day before and then she told me that she's cold, that she wants me to take her in my arms and when I take her I realize she's burning hot. I told her we were going upstairs to my room to take her temperature. I'm taking her temperature with an oral thermometer that tells me she's at 41.9 I'm starting to get anxious, but I don't think she's going to die-any parent doesn't think a 3-Year-old can die so quickly, while she has no major health problems, apart from a few bronchitis spells. I call my spouse, but he doesn't hear his phone because of the noise of the factory. I'm calling one of his bosses, he's not answering me. I call the second boss, he answers me and gives the message to my spouse. But when my spouse answers me, he hears me wrong and tells me he can't leave work for at least 1 hour. I'm thinking that in 1 hour my daughter should be non feverish and that everything will end up getting better. So I took my daughter's mattress, I put it next to my bed. From the end of the film, my daughter shivered. Her whole body is shivered. I put her paw patrol blanket on, but she was still cold, so I added another blanket, and then I went to bed with her for the point to reassure me, and to reassure her. The last words she told me are "Mom I want to sleep". she finally fell asleep, and I went to take a shower to relax for a minute. She was sleeping, wasn't she? She had the flu. It's normal she needs rest. When I came back to see her, she had moved out of bed and slept in a strange way, the whole bottom of her legs hung down the mattress... but still, a child can sleep so much in all kinds of ways and it Isn't that worrying. I then stayed at her bedside waiting for my spouse to return, and I put cool cloth on her chest and neck. I was making her cool water compresses. She didn't really react to the washcloth on her forehead, but a parent doesn't want to imagine the worst.
Finally, my spouse arrives around 9 pm,he takes his shower and then we have to give her more Tylenol around 10pm. The details remain a little blurry, I don't know who, me or my spouse took my daughter, but one of us took her, she was limp. When we passed our hand in front of her face, her eyes remained open but fixed, when one of us called her name, she had no reaction. Quickly, we decided to bring her to Buckingham hospital. Later, I knew that when my spouse arrived at the hospital, he was going to take a number for triage, but the nurse gave him a sign to go directly to the emergency. A dozen doctors, and nurses (including the triage nurse) took a look and took our daughter right away. My spouse collapsed in tears and trembled with his whole body. I stayed home, didn't want to imagine the worst and to stay with my baby, Liam. I was constantly asking my spouse for a text. We knew she had influenza. But given her condition, doctors were doing several tests to find out if there was another cause. All treatments and tests did not produce results other than influenza and as this hospital is not specialized in child care, it was obvious that she should be transferred. So they made several phone calls, but cheo in Ontario was already full. So she had to be transferred to the children hospital of Montreal. At this hospital, they did a scan, but the result wasn't clear enough, so they did an MRI, but we had to wait for the results. It was at this hospital that I finally could join my spouse. At First, the doctors seemed to say that I couldn't see my daughter, because I'm breastfeeding, but I was starting to go crazy to stay home while my daughter was intubated, that she still hadn't woken up and she was In Montreal, about 2 hours from my house. Shortly after I arrived at the hospital, the doctor would like to meet us in order to explain her health. We learned that her liver is so damaged that if she does recover, she will have to undergo a transplant, but it depends on the results of the MRI and the sequelae due to the shock Around 3 pm, Charlotte was transferred to st. Justine's hospital because this hospital is more specialized in liver problems. We were only again our daughter around 5, because in the meantime we went to Ronald Macdonald house according to the recommendation of the social worker of the children I almost didn't go to the house. I stayed at my daughter's bedside. At First, I had to keep leaving my baby in from intensive care, to breastfeed my younger baby. Around 10pm we see the doctor, the verdict falls. She will never be able to receive a liver transplant. I asked the doctor about 100 %, how likely will my daughter recover, he told me she had more than 50 % chance of dying. Without knowing, I started to grieve at the moment. The staff were very understanding in general. The doctor asked me if I wanted to take my daughter in my arms, despite the tubes and the ventilator. I didn't even think it was possible, but i clung to that. All night, I fought to make it happen. My spouse was getting really sick, my baby was with my mom in a room right next to my daughter's. The family came to see her during the night, because the doctors knew it was her last hours. Around 3, the nurse was going on a break, she told me to try to rest, because if I took my daughter, it was for at least 1 hours and it was difficult. I breastfed my baby at 3, asked my mother to take care of him, and at 4. It took 4 nurses to get my daughter back in my arms, It was very delicate, and I even questioned myself if I wasn't going to cause her death by this maneuver. However, as soon as I moved my hands or feet to remove the numbness, she started coughing and there was blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I saw tears in the corner of her eyes. I asked if it was possible that it was real tears or if it was only secretions, according to doctors it's only liquid, but I like to think she cried knowing I had her in my arms. Around 6, my baby was hungry and Charlotte had to go back to her bed. I asked for an activation to get out of bed a little bit, because my head was driving fast. I managed to sleep more or less 2 hours, I went to the house to take my shower and then I wanted to go eat quickly and get her doudou, even though I knew it wasn't for nothing. I then receive a call from my spouse who tells me that there are several staff members in my daughter's room, that her pupils are starting to dilate and that the doctor wishes to see us both. But when I tell him what I was going to do, he says, "it doesn't press, go get doudou". I ask him what's going on and if it's serious I'm going up all the way, he tells me that Get in the brain. So I gave up what I was doing to run to my daughter's bedside. It was at that moment that we learned that my daughter was dying of a brain death, a concept that I was completely unaware of, because in my head death was synonymous with cardiac arrest. But in this case the respirator kept her heart alive and her other organs, but her brain would die. Then we decided to move forward for organ donation. There were several procedures and tests to do, but I was thinking that if I could spare the ordeal that I had just lived in for another family, it would help.
On January 17, 2019, my daughter died of influenza. Enjoy every moment with your child, because you never know when it will be the last.
Thank you for taking the time to read my cousins words. Thank you to all the support and well wishes we have received.
Hello,
I'm Nancy Bouchard. I'm a college student in history with minor in museology. I work as a team leader in a dollorama to help my spouse with the costs for the house. But I'm mostly a mother.
Recently, I had a shock, because my 3-Year-old daughter Charlotte Mantha died of influenza. On Monday, January 14, 2019, she was healthy and went to daycare all day. She started having a fever around 4pm and the daycare worker gave her Tylenol which seemed to help her. Thirty minutes later I was going to pick her up. That night, nothing showed me the gravity of the situation. She looked like all the normal little girls when they catch a little flu, she was a little more snarling and had a little less energy. She still kept eating, we watched a family movie, then as usual, she refused to go to bed and because she wanted to sleep with mommy.
That night, I called the daycare to let them know I might be taking the day off. During the night, I had to get up frequently to breastfeed my 5-Month-old baby So I had time to rethink it and despite my fatigue I listened to my mother instinct and took my day off. I thought no matter what time she woke up, I'd spend a mother-daughter day with her. Finally, she woke up around 10, she came to me in my bed. I didn't dare to move without knowing if she wanted to sleep or not. She seemed tired, but I finally told her that I was keeping her at home with me and that we were going to bed to watch movies. I asked her what she wanted to eat. She told me some toast. So I told her to wait in bed and I'd come back with lunch. I made us each toast, and a bowl of strawberries, a bowl of cheese and a chocolate milk. She ate everything! We were having a good time, even though she was still having a little fever. I gave her Tylenol around 10 and around 3, she seemed tired. So I tried to get her to take a nap, but this is Liam, my youngest who was agitated and didn't want to sleep. When one of them if, the other cried and woke the first and so on. I even haggled my daughter because she didn't want to sleep, and that's when I had to lock myself in the bathroom to cry and calm down. Normally my daughter follows me like a stick of glue and doesn't want me to be alone for two seconds, but this time she was asleep when I went up to see her in my room and shortly after it was her brother who fell asleep . So I went to bed next to her.
We woke up for dinner, I made soup. My spouse was working overtime because he works in factories and when there is a shutdown, he has to finish the job as soon as possible. He worked 12 hours on Saturday, 12 hours on Monday and 14 hours on Tuesday. So, at dinner, I'm alone at home with both kids. I don't know what time my spouse will finish working. After dinner, where my daughter had a little less eaten, but she still ate a little, we went to the living room, watched another movie. It's after the movie that I'm starting to lose the notion of time more. I gave her more Motrin around 5pm but at the end of the movie around 7 pm, her temperature was rising. She told me she had a stomach pain since the day before and then she told me that she's cold, that she wants me to take her in my arms and when I take her I realize she's burning hot. I told her we were going upstairs to my room to take her temperature. I'm taking her temperature with an oral thermometer that tells me she's at 41.9 I'm starting to get anxious, but I don't think she's going to die-any parent doesn't think a 3-Year-old can die so quickly, while she has no major health problems, apart from a few bronchitis spells. I call my spouse, but he doesn't hear his phone because of the noise of the factory. I'm calling one of his bosses, he's not answering me. I call the second boss, he answers me and gives the message to my spouse. But when my spouse answers me, he hears me wrong and tells me he can't leave work for at least 1 hour. I'm thinking that in 1 hour my daughter should be non feverish and that everything will end up getting better. So I took my daughter's mattress, I put it next to my bed. From the end of the film, my daughter shivered. Her whole body is shivered. I put her paw patrol blanket on, but she was still cold, so I added another blanket, and then I went to bed with her for the point to reassure me, and to reassure her. The last words she told me are "Mom I want to sleep". she finally fell asleep, and I went to take a shower to relax for a minute. She was sleeping, wasn't she? She had the flu. It's normal she needs rest. When I came back to see her, she had moved out of bed and slept in a strange way, the whole bottom of her legs hung down the mattress... but still, a child can sleep so much in all kinds of ways and it Isn't that worrying. I then stayed at her bedside waiting for my spouse to return, and I put cool cloth on her chest and neck. I was making her cool water compresses. She didn't really react to the washcloth on her forehead, but a parent doesn't want to imagine the worst.
Finally, my spouse arrives around 9 pm,he takes his shower and then we have to give her more Tylenol around 10pm. The details remain a little blurry, I don't know who, me or my spouse took my daughter, but one of us took her, she was limp. When we passed our hand in front of her face, her eyes remained open but fixed, when one of us called her name, she had no reaction. Quickly, we decided to bring her to Buckingham hospital. Later, I knew that when my spouse arrived at the hospital, he was going to take a number for triage, but the nurse gave him a sign to go directly to the emergency. A dozen doctors, and nurses (including the triage nurse) took a look and took our daughter right away. My spouse collapsed in tears and trembled with his whole body. I stayed home, didn't want to imagine the worst and to stay with my baby, Liam. I was constantly asking my spouse for a text. We knew she had influenza. But given her condition, doctors were doing several tests to find out if there was another cause. All treatments and tests did not produce results other than influenza and as this hospital is not specialized in child care, it was obvious that she should be transferred. So they made several phone calls, but cheo in Ontario was already full. So she had to be transferred to the children hospital of Montreal. At this hospital, they did a scan, but the result wasn't clear enough, so they did an MRI, but we had to wait for the results. It was at this hospital that I finally could join my spouse. At First, the doctors seemed to say that I couldn't see my daughter, because I'm breastfeeding, but I was starting to go crazy to stay home while my daughter was intubated, that she still hadn't woken up and she was In Montreal, about 2 hours from my house. Shortly after I arrived at the hospital, the doctor would like to meet us in order to explain her health. We learned that her liver is so damaged that if she does recover, she will have to undergo a transplant, but it depends on the results of the MRI and the sequelae due to the shock Around 3 pm, Charlotte was transferred to st. Justine's hospital because this hospital is more specialized in liver problems. We were only again our daughter around 5, because in the meantime we went to Ronald Macdonald house according to the recommendation of the social worker of the children I almost didn't go to the house. I stayed at my daughter's bedside. At First, I had to keep leaving my baby in from intensive care, to breastfeed my younger baby. Around 10pm we see the doctor, the verdict falls. She will never be able to receive a liver transplant. I asked the doctor about 100 %, how likely will my daughter recover, he told me she had more than 50 % chance of dying. Without knowing, I started to grieve at the moment. The staff were very understanding in general. The doctor asked me if I wanted to take my daughter in my arms, despite the tubes and the ventilator. I didn't even think it was possible, but i clung to that. All night, I fought to make it happen. My spouse was getting really sick, my baby was with my mom in a room right next to my daughter's. The family came to see her during the night, because the doctors knew it was her last hours. Around 3, the nurse was going on a break, she told me to try to rest, because if I took my daughter, it was for at least 1 hours and it was difficult. I breastfed my baby at 3, asked my mother to take care of him, and at 4. It took 4 nurses to get my daughter back in my arms, It was very delicate, and I even questioned myself if I wasn't going to cause her death by this maneuver. However, as soon as I moved my hands or feet to remove the numbness, she started coughing and there was blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I saw tears in the corner of her eyes. I asked if it was possible that it was real tears or if it was only secretions, according to doctors it's only liquid, but I like to think she cried knowing I had her in my arms. Around 6, my baby was hungry and Charlotte had to go back to her bed. I asked for an activation to get out of bed a little bit, because my head was driving fast. I managed to sleep more or less 2 hours, I went to the house to take my shower and then I wanted to go eat quickly and get her doudou, even though I knew it wasn't for nothing. I then receive a call from my spouse who tells me that there are several staff members in my daughter's room, that her pupils are starting to dilate and that the doctor wishes to see us both. But when I tell him what I was going to do, he says, "it doesn't press, go get doudou". I ask him what's going on and if it's serious I'm going up all the way, he tells me that Get in the brain. So I gave up what I was doing to run to my daughter's bedside. It was at that moment that we learned that my daughter was dying of a brain death, a concept that I was completely unaware of, because in my head death was synonymous with cardiac arrest. But in this case the respirator kept her heart alive and her other organs, but her brain would die. Then we decided to move forward for organ donation. There were several procedures and tests to do, but I was thinking that if I could spare the ordeal that I had just lived in for another family, it would help.
On January 17, 2019, my daughter died of influenza. Enjoy every moment with your child, because you never know when it will be the last.
Thank you for taking the time to read my cousins words. Thank you to all the support and well wishes we have received.
Organizer
Nancy Bouchard
Organizer
Saint-Émile-de-Suffolk, QC