We are raising £600 in memory of Joshua

On Thursday 16th November our beautiful baby boy Joshua Hudson Wright came into our world as a sleeping angel!!

Just 9 days before we had the heartbreaking news that we were having to go to Leeds infirmary Fetal Medicine unit as they were worried about our baby boys heart. At just 22 weeks 4 days pregnant our hearts were broken by the news our much dreamed of baby boy had a Hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS).

The diagnosis didn’t end there we were informed we had three life changing choices that day, none that delivered a miracle, first being we could continue our sons life and I deliver him into a world, he could not survive in without immediate medical intervention after birth which would only be a small chance of life and if we were lucky he’d then spend the rest of his life living operation after operation and only achieving pain and multiple disabilities for a maximum of 20 years.

Second we could continue our pregnancy and bring him into the world where he’d receive palliative care and we could watch him leave the very world we had just brought him into!!

Three we could terminate the pregnancy Classed as TFMR!! For the rest of my life I will hate that word and term!!!

After what seemed like the longest days of our life we made the heart wrenching decision to end our much dreamed of sons life!! We couldn’t put him through a life of pain and such uncertainty. We saw it only one way, we break our hearts and suffer the pain by saving and setting our beautiful boy free or we give him a life of anxiety and pain! As his mummy and daddy one thing is for sure we would always choose to take the pain no matter how painful for our boys!!

We started the perpetual journey of Termination For Medical Reasons TFMR something parents are made to feel ashamed about!!! We are not ashamed to share the pain we’ve had to endure making such a life shattering decision for the very love of a much dreamed of son!! For us no one who’s not had to make these choices will fully understand but for us it’s been mind blowing how many people have to make one of these choices everyday!!!

How many parents lose there much dreamed of and cherished babies to miscarriage, stillborn, TMFR and neonatal deaths every day, month , year!!

On Thursday 16th November we went into Scunthorpe General Hospital to be induced a day we had much looked forward to as it’s the birth day of my second son!! We’d already lost him on the Tuesday 14th so for us we were looking forward to meeting our boy and having that much yearned for time with him.

He arrived into our arms at 14.48 on a very cloudy miserable day but our hearts filled with pride, how very beautiful he looked and the absolute double of his big brother we were in awe of him!!

My two midwife’s who were by our sides were unbelievable and just angels living on earth in our eyes they helped us look after our son like he was their own while we were helped to make the most magical memories with him!!

We were given a beautiful heart touching memory box by the midwife’s these boxes are donated through 4Louis.co.uk by other family’s of baby or child loss to help give comfort, empathy and care to the bereaved family’s and to help them keep meaningful items to remember their baby!!

We can not explain how treasured our memory box will be to us and our son Noah and the rest of Joshua’s family but it really made a heart breaking decision and time quite magical and special!!!

We will remember Joshua everyday for the rest of our life’s and right how it feels unimaginable how we will get through this but me and Graham are two souls as one we have been since the day we met so I know we will get through this hell especially with the love of our beautiful kind caring mind blowingly clever son Noah and our forever perfect angel Joshua!!

We know our family and friends want to show there support to us and we would be forever grateful if could give any amount to help us support this invaluable charity 4louis.co.uk .We would love to aim for 20 boxes one for every year he may have lived!! Giving something back in Joshua’s memory would mean the world to us, love Camille, Graham and Noah,

Joshuas Mummy, daddy and proud big brother xx