Emergency help needed for rent and medical bills

Hello, everyone, I’m Julie Hassler. I’m a professional musician and artist. I go by the name Stunt Cellist, a nickname I earned while working in theater. I love playing cello in unexpected places, and promoting causes I believe in with music - especially peace. I have worked as a music teacher, and played in symphonies, theaters, and bands here in Connecticut for the past few decades. I’m a long way from my home in Fairbanks Alaska.

I am here on gofundme because my son and I are in desperate need of help. Covid really destroyed the music industry, and completely knocked me out physically and financially. I was already struggling to raise my son before covid hit, as a widow and single mother of an autistic 19 year old. My son, Ben, found his dad’s body on the living room floor only 42 days after his cancer diagnosis. The same apartment we are now being evicted from. That was almost nine years ago. We were completely traumatized, blindsided, and left without any resources because his life insurance did not pay out due to a childhood cancer. Ben and I have been through a lot of hardship over the years. We have overcome obstacles. But we have never struggled as hard as we have this past year, physically and spiritually. In every possible way. I stubbornly thought I could manage it on my own. And I foolishly thought that one of the government programs I applied for would help us. But my medical bills and all of the added expenses of being disabled have completely overwhelmed me. I am fighting every day just to function - to walk and use my hands. Some days my vision is gone. Some days I cannot lift my head. I can’t count on my body for anything anymore. I have violent seizures that come with no warning. And sweating, chills, dizziness and vomiting that take hours to resolve every day. I have a horrible list of diagnoses already, adding to the ones I’ve had since childhood. From dozens and dozens of lab tests, biopsies, awful things like tilt table tests, EMGs, CT scans, and MRIs. This last round of tests really knocked me down. I am asking for extra prayers and good energy for what is coming next. My neurologist is testing me for Stiff Person Syndrome. All I know about it so far is it’s what Celine Dion has. Along with SPS we are testing for ultra-rare diseases like Morvan’s syndrome. Only 25 people on the planet have it. And in all recorded English history there have only been around 100 cases of Morvan’s. And on top of all this my endocrinologist has good reason to suspect I have thyroid cancer. The ultrasound is being scheduled for next week. And I have another spinal MRI, a repeat autonomic test, another nerve conduction velocity test, and blood work that can only be done in one lab in the state. It’s all too much to bear. Honestly. And on top of that, we are fighting eviction. I was communicating with my landlord, and making small payments, but they still served us with eviction papers the day after Christmas. I have been living in fear since, that the sheriff was going to show up at our door. 

If you’re interested in the backstory, I have struggled with neuroimmunological disease my entire life. The scary part is that most of these diseases have only been discovered in the past few years. There are no known cures yet for the degenerative nerve and neurological conditions I have either. Very few treatments options exist because my immune system is so fragile and I can’t take most front line medications. And every day is worse than the one before. There is zero improvement. I am losing the ability to walk and use my hands. I need a cane to walk now because my joints dislocate randomly, making me fall down. I have lost so much of my basic functioning just in the past year. I have been saddened by the realization that I can’t work anymore - and some days can’t even hold my cello. My trusty stunt cello, Calliope, is the source of my joy and energy. She heals my body and spirit. I am not fully me without my cello in my arms. I pray everyday for the strength to play. Today is one of them, thankfully.  But it’s a huge change, a shift. I am having my life slowly taken from me - losing more and more ability. I’ve only just recently “come out” as being disabled. The truth is I’ve been suffering for 20 years with invisible chronic illness and pain. It started after I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in 2001. I had autoimmune encephalitis afterwards and nearly died. I had to learn how to walk again. I was in a coma-like state for months and could not even feed myself. But I made my recovery - I fought my way back. It took me 3 solid years of work, but I regained my life. I was technically disabled at that time, but refused to accept it. I’m much older - and wiser - now. I am in the process of applying for disability. The tricky thing is I won’t get anything for months. And what I do get won’t fill the huge hole made by my medical bills, expenses, and back rent. 

I’ve been stubbornly thinking I could do this on my own. But I can’t, clearly. I am feeling ashamed to ask for help, and of my stark headline. But I think it’s because I can’t sugarcoat it - because it’s true. I am fighting for my life and we are facing eviction. My son has special needs and supports that ended when he turned 18. He’s tough and resilient, but I want a better life for him than this. I have not been able to provide the life he deserves - and nothing can replace his father. Now that I’m in a life and death health crisis my biggest concern is not me, it’s Ben. He already lost one parent to cancer. The thought of leaving him is more than I can bear. I am starting this fundraiser to raise money for rent, and gain a sense of stability while I’m fighting my health battle. Also we need help to pay outstanding medical bills, get much needed repair to car and house, obtain out of network medical care, transportation to out of state hospitals, access possible alternative therapies & clinical trials, learn new assistive technologies, explore natural medicines, try acupuncture and massage, get specialized physical therapy, and continue with the nutritional supports recommended to me by the cancer center dietitian. Every donation is greatly appreciated. And your kind words and prayers are helping us get through this dark time. I will keep you updated as we get test results back. If we’re not already friends, please follow me at stunt_cellist on Instagram, and Julie Hassler on Facebook. And if you don’t mind, please message me your physical address so I can send you a piece of my art as a thank you. I had a lot of time to paint and make art when my cello, Calliope, was broken for six months. That is a very sad story, but thankfully she is repaired and helping repair me now! I will also be posting a video here once I learn how to do it. I’d love to play a song for you! So please, send me your physical address if you’d like to get a letter in the mail with some art in it. I truly love snail mail, don’t you? And I want to show my gratitude. Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this. I have another scary appointment at the cancer center tomorrow, and I want you to know your prayers, kindness and generosity really help tremendously.