Words That Rhyme with Amputation: F_CK!

My leg is getting amputated

It’s official. After medical malpractice, four years of surgeries in three different states, and a relentless fight to fix what the first hospital did, there’s nothing else that can be done. A low-impact broken ankle on a road trip across the country sent me down a path of suffering I didn’t know was possible. In 4 years ive walked for only a few months....

February 22nd was supposed to be the last of dozens of corrective surgeries—one final shot at reclaiming my life after a hospital-induced bone infection took hold. Instead, at my follow-up last week, I walked out with an appointment for amputation. This is gonna be an entire extra year of struggle in ways I cant even imagine. Maxing this out at 5 years, hopefully-- because honestly, I really dont know how much more I can take.

The road ahead is more dire than before. And I’m not ashamed to say it: I need help. I can no longer afford this alone.

This is about GOFUNDME transparency, how these funds are being used.

So, I need to make something crystal clear. The money I’m raising isn’t for a vacation, a new car, or some cushy, extended stay in La-La Land. It’s survival. It’s barely scraping by for a year. It’s keeping a roof over my head, gas in the whip, the heat on, and making sure I can afford the kind of medical services, supplies and the like that doesn’t leave me withering in pain like it’s the goddamn Dark Ages. I dont have a nasty video game habit, a knack for designer clothes or electronics, I dont drink alcohol, smoke weed, or eat out. This is exactly what Im saying its for, but -- I will give someone money at an intersection if thats what they want to use it for, and that dollar may be yours too. Every things connected lol.

That being said I keep things light when Im online because if I didn’t, I’d sink. Nobody wants to donate to a sinking man—people invest in hope. So I joke, I keep moving, I focus on what’s ahead. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t real. This is four years of surgeries, a butchered leg, infections that could have killed me, and a medical system that would rather see me homeless than accountable for its own mistakes. I’ve scraped, adapted, fought like hell to get here. Now, I’m staring down the last, necessary evil: amputation. And I need your help to get through it without being swallowed whole. Plus id rather not be panhandling in a Circle K parking lot with a broom stick duct taped to my stump. Now, I’ve always been one to roll with life’s punches, but this next chapter? I can’t do it alone. Recovery, prosthetics, and learning to walk again aren’t cheap.

Let me lay it out:

Housing: No magic safety net. No couches to crash on. No secret trust fund. Just the ticking clock. The first comes every month, and after 4 years homeless in a car, a barn, and on the road in a tent I have my own place, and Im not trying to lose it.

Transportation: My vehicle isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline. I live in the woods. Besides uber and figuring out a ride I have no other way to get to the weekly (sometimes daily) hospital visits, physical therapy, prosthetic fittings, or emergency care. Oh yeah and the only vehicle I have is a motorcycle, and yes I’ve had to drive myself in an emergency to the hospital with one leg and crutches strapped to my sissy bar. Live to ride, ride to live.

Utilities/Insurance/Cell/Internet: The absolute basics. I don’t have Netflix, Photoshop, or any other unnecessary subscriptions. I’ve already cut everything down to the bone to survive.

Medical Costs: Not hospital bills—those get written off. But Prosthesis, bandages, dressings, pain meds, antibiotics, prescription co-pays, PICC line treatments, third party treatments—all of these are necessary and none of them are free. Not to mention the huge hurdles ahead. To give you an idea, I’ve had a PICC line going straight into my heart three separate times, requiring me to inject custom anti-biotics by a third party lab multiple times a day and get weekly professional care visits to change out the port so I didnt send an infection to my heart as well. To even get treatment I had to set up a monthly payment plan to start treatment (for something that would save life) . Total cost of that whole regiment? Somewhere around 10k or more. This is just one example of the endless out-of-pocket costs I’ve had to cover out of nowhere to keep going. Who knows what else will pop up.

Care: I don’t have nurses or home health aides. I have one friend who gave up his job to take care of me full-time for free. Ive known him for two years and the sacrifice he’s made is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, and I want to ensure he’s not drowning in debt because of his compassion if I can. While I didnt factor this into it, I would love to over shoot the goal if it means I can help him in the future. He literally cooks for me, gets me water, cleans my back, picks up my prescriptions, takes me dumpster diving for food and runs up and down the three flights of stairs for me 4 times as much a day to make sure Im getting what I need.

Legal Fees: I was denied justice for malpractice four years ago because no lawyer wanted to take my case because of the statute of limitations and because it was too early to prove negligence. But now that this botched nightmare has continued for 4 years, from mis-treatment/negligence from a hospital induced infection, Kentucky Statute of Limitations is now void and Im even angrier than I was before... Malpractice lawyers arent free they all have upfront fees. And while most of them take their main payment at the end of a case like the dudes on the billboards who rob you for damn near all of what you won. Quality Malpractice lawyers will fuck you a little less cause they are still a lawyer. Never the less, this is money I dont have. I want the best damn shot at getting 5 years of my life back.

The Unforeseen: If you think I can predict everything that’s coming, you haven’t been paying attention. This has been four years of relentless, unpredictable catastrophe. Emergency hospitalizations, complications, dozens of surgeries and last-minute medical expenses—I need to be prepared for the inevitable curveballs. And I didnt even factor that in, when I said barely scrape by I meant it, because like many of us we undersell what our lives are worth in attempt to get enough to keep them, especially if it feels like you are begging. Thats the f*cking hard truth.

And let’s talk about how I got here.

Imagine this: you get a minor injury on a Vacation, 2,997.8 miles from home. Meat Dr. Kevorkian, the Psychic.

“Alright, here’s the deal,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “We’re gonna botch this surgery, tell you it’s fine, and send you limping out the door. You’ll be stuck in a state you don’t live in, far from family, friends, your job, your home, your savings. “No doctor will touch another surgeon’s mess until it’s ‘healed,’ so you’re stuck here!! And we are gonna leave a secret bone infection in there for you! Yes! And, and it’s gonna eat you alive. Slowly.”

"BUT WAIT!"

He sighs, "After a year," his smile turns sinister " We will tell you its fine and there no infection! Youll do physical therapy, and walk for three months and we will tell you thats it part of the healing process! Then youll go to Guatemala as a celebration, and a week later? Yes yes, this is where it gets good, the infection will take over, youll start having trouble walking and then youll have to leave after one week, traverse and entire country, get back to the US and drive with one foot to a competent Ortho Surgeon in a completely different state to tell you the infection is still there and they are cutting out your entire ankle"

“And oh yeah, this whole thing? Its gonna take three years. It’s on your dime. You’re gonna go bankrupt, be homeless, and in the end?!? You’re gonna have to chop the whole thing off anyway because of me!!!.” Maniacal laughter ensues....

“Sign here. We need that payment up front.”

Wanna trade spaces? Didnt think so. It literally take one click to share a post, Im worth that even if you hate my guts. It takes less energy too :)

This GoFundMe only moves when people actively share it. My analytic services monitor all the platforms and they don’t lie. The moment there’s no current shares, the visits drop to zero. No movement. No donations. That means I have to keep posting, keep making content, keep begging—while also dealing with the crushing weight of my reality. It’s humiliating. It’s exhausting. And I hate doing it. But if I stop, the money stops. And if the money stops, well Id rather not find out how much worse it could get.

So here’s what I need from you:

• Accept collaborator requests when I send them.

• Share my posts, my stories, with the GoFundMe link.

Do it again. And again. And again.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m not asking for pity. I’m not trying to guilt-trip anyone. I just want a chance to get through this, to heal, and to finally, by the end of 5+ years, have a life again.

And if I win this lawsuit and in a year or two get that check? Trust me—every single f*cking one of you will get something in return that money can’t buy if your names on that f*ckin donor list, and your money back. This isn’t just about me. It’s about justice, about survival, and about making sure no one else gets chewed up and spit out the way I have.

Let’s get this done.

Lily <3