Sexual Abuse Recovery Operation
Donation protected
Hi, my name is Siân, I'm 23.
Unfortunately I suffered repeated sexual abuse by an ex partner. I didn't know what was happening at the time and was emotionally manipulated among other things. The frequency of the abuse ranged from 4 to 10 times a day, and as a result I gained fissures/scar tissue in my vulval region.
I've been waiting on an operation to repair the repeated sexual assault scars on the NHS for nearly a year. Due to covid, this has obviously been delayed despite being classed as an urgent operation.
I suffered in silence for 6 years before finally going to a gynaecologist after I had a traumatic rupture of one of the scars in the summer of 2019 while being intimate with my partner. My mental health took a massive knock, and I was unable to leave the house without someone with me. Physically I struggled to walk, sit down or do any activity. My ruptured scars did not heal with medication and have not healed since. Leaving me open and bleeding on a regular occurance.
Every day I am in pain, I suffer with Vulvodynia, a nerve damage condition. While the operation won't cure this, it will help with the open scar tissue I have in this area - which will hopefully help calm it down.
I require two operations. The first is to have biopsies done, my scars do not fully heal and repeatedly re-tear. My surgeons want to make sure that I don't have any conditions that is preventing me from healing, and to check the tissue in this area is healthy.
My second operation will be to remove all the scar tissue and remodel my vulva region to prevent any further scars or tearing from occurring. (At least I get a designer vagina out of this... looking on the brightside and everything )
As I'm sure you can imagine, it plays a tremendous stress on both me and my partner. I feel like I cannot get over my sexual abuse until the physical reminder is behind me. I am lucky that my partner is so understanding and really is my rock.
It's an embarrassing subject to talk about, I have never known sex without pain, I've never known sex without bleeding. Each day I administer a local anaesthetic to help numb the pain, I take painkillers, sit on ice packs, wear dresses. It has completely altered my life and what I can and cannot do.
I recently left my job because my condition is difficult to manage in a work place and have become self employed so I can treat it at home between clients. I will be able to work one or two days after my first op. But with the second, I may be unable to walk or be on my feet for too long for weeks. This will obviously have a detrimental effect on my income.
I am never one to ask for help, anyone who knows me will testify to this. If you can spare any money for me to go privately and get my operation done before 2021, I would be hugely appreciative. I have been told for the work, medication, hospital stays and testing that is required it will roughly cost around £20k, which is money I simply don't have. Even if I can raise a little bit of the money and get a loan for the rest, I would be so grateful. Even if you can't donate, if you could just share my story it would mean the absolute world.
I share my story on my Instagram and blog to try and help other girls and guys who have experienced the same. I want to stop the taboo, and let everyone know they're not alone, as I once felt.
Thank you for listening to my story
Unfortunately I suffered repeated sexual abuse by an ex partner. I didn't know what was happening at the time and was emotionally manipulated among other things. The frequency of the abuse ranged from 4 to 10 times a day, and as a result I gained fissures/scar tissue in my vulval region.
I've been waiting on an operation to repair the repeated sexual assault scars on the NHS for nearly a year. Due to covid, this has obviously been delayed despite being classed as an urgent operation.
I suffered in silence for 6 years before finally going to a gynaecologist after I had a traumatic rupture of one of the scars in the summer of 2019 while being intimate with my partner. My mental health took a massive knock, and I was unable to leave the house without someone with me. Physically I struggled to walk, sit down or do any activity. My ruptured scars did not heal with medication and have not healed since. Leaving me open and bleeding on a regular occurance.
Every day I am in pain, I suffer with Vulvodynia, a nerve damage condition. While the operation won't cure this, it will help with the open scar tissue I have in this area - which will hopefully help calm it down.
I require two operations. The first is to have biopsies done, my scars do not fully heal and repeatedly re-tear. My surgeons want to make sure that I don't have any conditions that is preventing me from healing, and to check the tissue in this area is healthy.
My second operation will be to remove all the scar tissue and remodel my vulva region to prevent any further scars or tearing from occurring. (At least I get a designer vagina out of this... looking on the brightside and everything )
As I'm sure you can imagine, it plays a tremendous stress on both me and my partner. I feel like I cannot get over my sexual abuse until the physical reminder is behind me. I am lucky that my partner is so understanding and really is my rock.
It's an embarrassing subject to talk about, I have never known sex without pain, I've never known sex without bleeding. Each day I administer a local anaesthetic to help numb the pain, I take painkillers, sit on ice packs, wear dresses. It has completely altered my life and what I can and cannot do.
I recently left my job because my condition is difficult to manage in a work place and have become self employed so I can treat it at home between clients. I will be able to work one or two days after my first op. But with the second, I may be unable to walk or be on my feet for too long for weeks. This will obviously have a detrimental effect on my income.
I am never one to ask for help, anyone who knows me will testify to this. If you can spare any money for me to go privately and get my operation done before 2021, I would be hugely appreciative. I have been told for the work, medication, hospital stays and testing that is required it will roughly cost around £20k, which is money I simply don't have. Even if I can raise a little bit of the money and get a loan for the rest, I would be so grateful. Even if you can't donate, if you could just share my story it would mean the absolute world.
I share my story on my Instagram and blog to try and help other girls and guys who have experienced the same. I want to stop the taboo, and let everyone know they're not alone, as I once felt.
Thank you for listening to my story
Organizer
Sian Taylor
Organizer