A Home-going Tribute for Elaine M. Wade
Donation protected
Many of you who knew my mother Elaine Wade well, knew of her courageous battle with cancer. From the beginning where she was determined to survive anything that came at her, until the end when she had given the battle to God and surrendered all, my mother showed the spirit of a champion, faith unparalleled, and a love and social grace that in a natural spirit of community she often reached out on Facebook to share this harrowing journey with friends, family, and loved ones.
What many of you did not know was that her hardest battle was already behind her. What cancer did to her was nothing compared to the loss of her oldest child. I remember it was 1985, because the Bears won the Super Bowl. There was nothing Faron would have loved more than to see that victory as his hero Walter Peyton held up the LombardiTrophy. But it was not to be. On October 25th, 1985 my oldest brother Faron sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident that left him comatose, paraplegic, and confined to a bed or a wheelchair. My mother is a ride or die mom everybody. During the years he was confined to that wheelchair, my mother, as his primary caregiver was often confined as well because Faron could not be left home alone. She left a job of 15 years at Joanna Western Mills where she was fully vested in every benefit and retirement plan they had and cashed it all in to care for Faron.
In 1996, my brother is over 6 feet tall and heavy from solely surviving on feeding tubes and no exercise, she physically couldn’t do it anymore but she found Faron care, not in a nursing home, as many suggested, but instead she traveled in an Amtrak sleeping boxcar from Illinois to California holding Faron down in that narrow bed the whole way. She had gotten him admitted into the neurological care unit, at San Bernardino Hospital that housed brain-injured young people because she wanted him to get real care and be with peers his own age. That’s the kind of mom she was. Thats the kind of person she was. Imagine what this cost her physically, emotionally, financially. Though Kamau and I lived in California, she would be thousands of miles away from all her children in Illinois. It was a sacrifice, but she made it; willingly, lovingly; she traveled to California so much after this that Kamau’s and my friends thought she lived there.
When she returned to Illinois, she took a job at the Alzheimers Association, this was 1998, she was a technical analyst in Donor Services. She became active as a volunteer in Memory Walk because she always connects with people everywhere she goes and she genuinely cares no matter what is going on in her own life. Her life had just normalized when it was turned upside down again by a diagnosis of uterine cancer in 1999. She accepted a treatment plan of outpatient care and only took time off to recover from the radiation therapy and surgery to have a total hysterectomy. I remember being amazed at her ability to look on the bright side when she said, “Well at least I get to skip menopause.” My mom was a champion. She was cancer free in 2001. Eleven years later in about 2012 the cancer returned, metastasized, virulent, and deadly. The cells had attached to vertebrae in her neck, in her pelvis, her bladder, and this last battle was to treat a tumor on her skull near her brain. She was forced into retirement after almost 16 years at the Alzheimers Association. Again she has been fully vested in all the benefits they offered but just could not sustain her many insurances during these many years of treatment. My mother always said she did NOT want to be burden to Kamau or I, she prayed for God’s will to be done, and planned for all possibilities, however, today we find that the best laid plans, are in the end, just ‘our’ plans. Her death benefit completely covered the costs of her funeral services however, that policy would have matured in February of 2021 but we lost her Tuesday, September 24th, 2019.
It is with a heavy heart that I come to you, friends and family, beseeching you to give from your heart, and only up to your financial capacity to give, towards the home-going celebrations of this great lady. Cancer robbed her of her health; but it could not rob her of her faith or of her inner strength. We, her immediate family, have already pulled together, lived together, and budgeted together to survive the costs of her care so she would not lose her home. The funeral costs are significant.
I am talking to you right now very mindful that the broken healthcare and insurance systems of this country are threatening to rob her of her final wishes and the dignity of the funeral services she chose and planned for. So if you were her friend, or family, a loved one, one of the many adopted family she claimed; her brother or sister in Christ, or just someone reading this who admires her story, someone who has her faith, if you hate cancer, or if you can just relate to how healthcare, insurance companies, and the pharmaceutical industry are destroying lives,
please give as you can, as much as you can, as a last tribute to her, thank you.
Rest in paradise mom. I love you.
-and God Bless all of you who stopped on this page.
What many of you did not know was that her hardest battle was already behind her. What cancer did to her was nothing compared to the loss of her oldest child. I remember it was 1985, because the Bears won the Super Bowl. There was nothing Faron would have loved more than to see that victory as his hero Walter Peyton held up the LombardiTrophy. But it was not to be. On October 25th, 1985 my oldest brother Faron sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident that left him comatose, paraplegic, and confined to a bed or a wheelchair. My mother is a ride or die mom everybody. During the years he was confined to that wheelchair, my mother, as his primary caregiver was often confined as well because Faron could not be left home alone. She left a job of 15 years at Joanna Western Mills where she was fully vested in every benefit and retirement plan they had and cashed it all in to care for Faron.
In 1996, my brother is over 6 feet tall and heavy from solely surviving on feeding tubes and no exercise, she physically couldn’t do it anymore but she found Faron care, not in a nursing home, as many suggested, but instead she traveled in an Amtrak sleeping boxcar from Illinois to California holding Faron down in that narrow bed the whole way. She had gotten him admitted into the neurological care unit, at San Bernardino Hospital that housed brain-injured young people because she wanted him to get real care and be with peers his own age. That’s the kind of mom she was. Thats the kind of person she was. Imagine what this cost her physically, emotionally, financially. Though Kamau and I lived in California, she would be thousands of miles away from all her children in Illinois. It was a sacrifice, but she made it; willingly, lovingly; she traveled to California so much after this that Kamau’s and my friends thought she lived there.
When she returned to Illinois, she took a job at the Alzheimers Association, this was 1998, she was a technical analyst in Donor Services. She became active as a volunteer in Memory Walk because she always connects with people everywhere she goes and she genuinely cares no matter what is going on in her own life. Her life had just normalized when it was turned upside down again by a diagnosis of uterine cancer in 1999. She accepted a treatment plan of outpatient care and only took time off to recover from the radiation therapy and surgery to have a total hysterectomy. I remember being amazed at her ability to look on the bright side when she said, “Well at least I get to skip menopause.” My mom was a champion. She was cancer free in 2001. Eleven years later in about 2012 the cancer returned, metastasized, virulent, and deadly. The cells had attached to vertebrae in her neck, in her pelvis, her bladder, and this last battle was to treat a tumor on her skull near her brain. She was forced into retirement after almost 16 years at the Alzheimers Association. Again she has been fully vested in all the benefits they offered but just could not sustain her many insurances during these many years of treatment. My mother always said she did NOT want to be burden to Kamau or I, she prayed for God’s will to be done, and planned for all possibilities, however, today we find that the best laid plans, are in the end, just ‘our’ plans. Her death benefit completely covered the costs of her funeral services however, that policy would have matured in February of 2021 but we lost her Tuesday, September 24th, 2019.
It is with a heavy heart that I come to you, friends and family, beseeching you to give from your heart, and only up to your financial capacity to give, towards the home-going celebrations of this great lady. Cancer robbed her of her health; but it could not rob her of her faith or of her inner strength. We, her immediate family, have already pulled together, lived together, and budgeted together to survive the costs of her care so she would not lose her home. The funeral costs are significant.
I am talking to you right now very mindful that the broken healthcare and insurance systems of this country are threatening to rob her of her final wishes and the dignity of the funeral services she chose and planned for. So if you were her friend, or family, a loved one, one of the many adopted family she claimed; her brother or sister in Christ, or just someone reading this who admires her story, someone who has her faith, if you hate cancer, or if you can just relate to how healthcare, insurance companies, and the pharmaceutical industry are destroying lives,
please give as you can, as much as you can, as a last tribute to her, thank you.
Rest in paradise mom. I love you.
-and God Bless all of you who stopped on this page.
Organizer
Marlo Patrice Wade-Simon
Organizer
Flossmoor, IL