Yates Family Recovery Fund
Donation protected
This long painful journey started in November 2017. It’s a long story but I feel it’s important to share, especially since our family is asking for your help. But before I get started on that, I want to go back to April of 2009 when I fell into a sinkhole that was caused by an underground water main bursting. This accident shattered my lumbar. Shortly after this accident I became a full-time single dad, so the current recovery isn’t the first time that they’ve had to learn what survival is like. The girls were 1 and 3 when that accident took place. From 2009-2011, I couldn’t walk so you can imagine what it was like, taking care of young children from a wheelchair while being in constant pain. However, after going to 16 surgeons and 5 operations, the last surgeon was able to get me back on my feet. After continuous rehab and therapy, I was able to get my life back and be a better dad than ever. I was 100% and that was amazing after being told by 15 of the 16 surgeons that I would never walk again on my own. Now bringing you back to November 2017, the day before Thanksgiving, while I was sitting at a stop sign, I was hit from behind by a teenage driver going almost 50 mph. The pain was immediate. The pain I had felt 7 years earlier, I immediately felt again. I knew that the hardware had busted loose. I was steered in the direction of a neurosurgeon. After 3 ½ months of having constant procedures done, and after raising the money through a wonderful and generous community, I was able to have the revision lumbar surgery. After the surgery, the pain became worse and worse. I was told by the doctor that it was all in my head and I was as good as I was going to get. I tried to see the doctor, but he refused to see me. At this point I was feeling like I did years before. I felt like I wanted to give up because the pain was so bad and only worsening by the day.
Luckily on October 24, 2018, I was able to get in front of Dr. J at The Back Center. After looking over the same films that the previous doctor looked at who said there was nothing wrong, Dr. J immediately saw that 4 of the 6 screws were misplaced in which 2 of them were in either a major muscle or an artery. He performed a few more tests and set the surgery for January 17th, 2019. I was relieved and filled with hope. We knew going into the surgery that it was going to be a task for Dr. J. However, we didn’t know what was going to happen next. Once I was opened up, the doctor saw a mess. He had to tear a dura sac to get to several of the previous surgeon’s mishaps. This caused a CFS leak, so the operation turned into an 11-hour surgery. The hospital stay was horrible. Anyone that’s had a CFS leak knows that you must lay flat on your back non-stop until it’s resolved. In my case it took 8 days. After that I was transported to a rehabilitation center where I learned to walk again before I was able to return home. It took about a month after I was home before I could start therapy but as soon as I could, I was looking further ahead every day. About 2 months later I started outpatient therapy. I was on a machine in therapy when it collapsed on me while I was on it. This caused my SI joints to blow out but because of this happening, I had to go through several tests. I have to believe that things happen for a reason because during all of this testing, I found out that I was having an allergic reaction to all of the hardware that was used in my fusion. With it only being April, it was way too soon to remove the hardware because the bone hadn’t completely fused. Over the course of the next couple months, the pain became worse every day. Several organs started to cause me problems as well, however I knew it would be several months before the surgery could take place.
The hardware removal was set for August 30th, 2019. I feel it’s more than important to say that up until this surgery, my wife, Ally, has been a rock. An absolute rock fighter. She’s carried our family financially throughout this entire journey. Any of you that know her, know that Ally is ONE OF A KIND! Ally has a small fitness studio that we began renovating the week before my accident in 2017. Even though it remains unfinished, she didn’t let this stop her and has been able to carry our family by training clients in a place that looks vacant. Many others would’ve given up or closed the doors, especially when dealing with a husband that’s injured and 3 young children. With having no family in the state to help, she’s counted on friends in our wonderful community, the surf community, and most of all, her faith.
On August 30th I had the hardware removal surgery done. Overall the surgery went well. However due to Hurricane Dorian, the hospital went on lockdown, so I was forced to go home. Within a week, I was back in the hospital. I spent a week in there and was treated for pneumonia in the left lung, blood clots, and a declining pulse ox. After a week, I was discharged to go home. Within a week, I was back in the hospital with blood clots throughout both arms, declining stats and unable to breathe. Once admitted, the thought of making it out alive wasn’t very clear. While being in there for over a week, I went through many tests, treatments, procedures and a bronchoscopy. They found a large amount of staph in my lung and began treatment for that. After being discharged, I required around the clock care so unfortunately, my wife couldn’t return to work. After a few weeks, she was able to start holding a couple classes a week, but this caused us to be extremely short on our monthly bills…. that leads us to now.
On November 22, 2019 I had a bilateral SI Joint fusion. The surgery itself went great and the hospital recovery was very short. However, with having both sides done in this type of surgery, you can’t bare weight on either of your legs for 3-4 weeks. I don’t think you can mentally or physically prepare yourself for this type of thing. The first two weeks have been very hard with around the clock medicine and the comfort and care that is required with my limitations. Although we’ve had in home therapy and nursing, that’s only for an hour twice a week. Luckily, I’ve had Ally by my side. Having her and my kids helping me get though this is the only thing that’s kept me going. They’re helping me see the light at the end of this long tunnel.
At this time, I’m continuing to have tests, injections, and treatments, but I feel like the healing process is going in the right direction. The hardest part of all this is the affect it’s had on my wife and kids. Having to sit back and watch my daughter raise every dime on her own to help fund her surfing trips, competitions and things that she needs for surfing instead of being able to pay for it is something that I don’t think a dad can understand until they’re in a position like this. Having our life turned upside down by this has backed us into a small corner. I’ve missed 2 years of being able to hold our son, who is now 4. Multiple surf events of my daughter’s, as well as being out there in the water with her. Watching soccer games and coaching my other daughter. And of course, missing out on being a husband to my wife. No dates or time alone during this period, and no events as a family. The closest I can come to describing it is to ask another husband or dad to imagine doing all the things he loves to do with and for his kids his wife and himself. Then to have all of that taken away overnight and having to live with that everyday for 2 years. Living in constant agonizing pain is something that cannot be described. When you’re living in a situation where everyday life is living in pain as it worsens from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed is something that’s even harder to understand as an outsider. It brings on days that you feel like giving up, days when you have to dig so deep to find your faith, days when you ask what did my family or I do deserve any of this. Ally and I know things happen for a reason and we instill that in our kids, but it’s really hard to explain what we’re going through when your little girl asks why is this happening to you dad, or your little boy asks why can’t you hold me or come upstairs to play?
While writing this story, it is so hard for me to re-read this, to read about all the things that I’ve missed out on for so long. I know there's always someone that has it worse and my heart aches and goes out to those families and individuals. Dealing with this non-stop for 2 years has taken so much away from our family and has changed the outlook we have on life. It’s so hard for me to believe that I still have a wife that’s standing by me and kids that are so understanding. I realize that the most important thing is that we have each other. That regardless of the pain, regardless of what we’ve lost, we’re still together. It’s brought us all closer together and for that I’m thankful.
Although I’m starting this Go Fund Me to help our family get through the next couple months since my wife is unable to work, I’m hoping that a message of not giving up can be felt and help someone else that may be going though the same thing. One of the hardest things when someone is going through something like this is the feeling of being alone. When you’re hurting and in a dark place, it’s hard to always see the good. You have to find a reason to keep fighting to get better, a reason to get your life back. Mine is clear, it’s my wife and kids. My family and I used to think that we were living each day for each day and 1 day at a time. I can honestly say that we weren’t. Even though we thought we were, it wasn’t clear until we ended up where we are from all of this. When you lose your income and there’s times when you’re waiting to find out where groceries are coming from for the week, then that’s truly living one day at a time. I thank any and all that read this and ask that if you’re able to help in any way, please do. Many of you in our past and present communities know that usually it’s my wife and I giving and helping others, but at this time, we’re asking for some help. As hard as it is, I have to be positive and tell myself that this is going to get better. I know the next few months are going to be a nightmare but I know because of my will, faith, family and our community, I'll overcome this. Thanks again for taking the time to read this share this, and of course for giving any amount of donation.
Organizer
Alison Yates
Organizer
Melbourne, FL