Family Fundraiser for Food and Bills

My name is Julie. I am fundraising for my family, Rob-husband and my son who doesn’t want their name mentioned. We are at a point where we don’t have enough money to pay for the necessities. The story is long and outlined below. It’s hard to summarize but some basics are: This year my son’s mental health deteriorated, I had to leave my mental health nursing graduate program, and we found out due to my husbands CLL (leukemia) when fully vaccinated they have limited protection against COVID. I got other work then hurt my back and can’t work. I am making this move, putting this out there and asking for help. I need help. It is not like me to do such a thing or ask in this way but we are desperate. Thank you so much for whatever you can give. xoxo

From 2018 until 2020 I studied my Bachelor of Nursing. During mid 2018 my son had a profound deterioration to their mental health and needed to go to hospital. From this time until the end of 2020 we sought help and the treatment they needed. It was like navigating through a darkened labyrinth where we came across more trauma from the health care system that was meant to help. During this time my son was completing year 10, 11, and 12, it took all we had to get through the school system. By the end of 2020 when I finished my degree I was absolutely annihilated.

We then moved to Melbourne. My son was to study acting and I had gained a place in a Mental Health Graduate Program. We were excited. We arrived and lockdowns ensued. My son’s mental health deteriorated. We found a reasonable doctor and a good psychologist and then found we desperately needed a psychiatrist. It would be 5 months until we could get into a psychiatrist.

I found myself struggling to manage the 4 days/week of the mental health program. I couldn’t look after my mental health, support my son, and work the 4 days. I approached the hospital for a flexible working arrangement. They made it a difficult rather than supportive process and in the end they said I would have to leave the graduate program if I could not bring my days back up to 4/week from the 3 I requested within a month. My option from them was to go to work in the unit that cared for clients who have chronic mental health conditions, strong forensic and aggressive history, and ongoing substance use (which negatively impacts their mental health and takes part in creating the chronic condition).

Another lockdown hit and my sons mental health really plummeted. They had a psychotic episode and we called an ambulance around 7pm. We then supported Merrick best we could and got a phone call long into the night to say the ambulance would be with us at around 1.30am. It was the most horrific experience of my life. At this point I found I could not face going to work with mental health clients when my child’s health was in such a horrendous way. It was too much. I left the after working there for 6 months. I was devastated. I then got work doing district nursing. Within a month from this episode my son would have another and would wait at the emergency department for 16 hours before being admitted to hospital.

We found out a few months ago that Rob my husband will not have much protection from COVID even when fully vaxed. He has CLL a form of leukemia and they are finding that those with CLL do not have a good response to the vaccine. If Rob was to get COVID, because of his reduced immunity his chance of survival would be a lot lower than the average person.

It is now December. We have been here a year. We got the care my son needed after 3 ½ years of knocking on doors, and 3 hospital admissions. We now have the support of a community mental health team for them. We put a referral into this team at the start of this year but it seems you need to be very close to deaths door to get the mental health support that our public health care system offers.

For myself after being exhausted at the end of 2020 and then coming into 2021 and experiencing all that I have and having to work very hard (once again) to get support for Merrick has taken its toll.

My mental health has suffered. I cry a lot. I complete an extraordinary amount of self-care. My thoughts have moved into another dimension of activity, trying to help I am sure, but it does not feel that way. My ability to function and do the day to day has really lessened.

Starting work after leaving the hospital was really hard, to be in a new environment and learn a whole new role was super challenging. I was managing to do 5 days a fortnight and keep my head above water but it took my already high stress levels to an insane level. Then I hurt my back. I have now been off work for nearly 4 weeks and am trying to get my back healed. I feel devastated.

I have applied for workcover but do not know for a few weeks if I will receive this. I borrowed money from my mum to get by but this has run out. Now we are in a position where we are really going to struggle to pay bills and buy food.

So I am making this move, putting this out there and asking for help. I need help. It is not like me to do such a thing or ask in this way but I am desperate. Thank you so much for whatever you can give. xoxo

I don’t think I am going to be able to continue with my current work because of my back. My osteopath told me I need a new job. Now I have this added pressure of looking for work again.

These are challenging times I know for everyone. Please, please look after yourself. Without my self-care routine that I have I would be in a lot worse space than I am now. I go for walks, do yoga, qi gong, I eat well, I do what I can to sleep well. I talk about things mainly to my husband. I try to express what feelings I have. I try to accept my life and be with it rather than recoil. Find what works for you. But do try because this stuff has a huge impact.