Lost my home!

I am asking for grace to help get me through this situation, but as I have reflected on so many things in the past few days, I have fought bitterness and choose to see positive outcomes and not dwell on the negative.  I am beginning to realize how depressed I had become and I just didn't know how to ask for help.  I have been independent all my life and not having anyone to depend on fosters even more independence.  I had actually frozen and thankfully had a good friend, who took my tablet and completed this for me.  I will now attempt to tell what transpired, hoping others will not have to go down the same path.  Go Fund Me requires an amount of money to be stated and we have no idea what is still ahead, but I will explain what is going on. 

I have always been a leader, but my sorority experiences enhanced those abilities.  They also made me hesitate to ask for help, knowing this would put a blemish on my life of service.  However, I have no choice!  This is the most humiliating thing that has happened to me, and for the longest time, I couldn't see a way out, but this is all I know to do.  I have to ask for help and would ask that you share this, hoping that those who have funds to help would be inclined to do so.  Of course, I am embarrassed and humiliated.  If this embarrasses you, my apologies.  

My house was paid for several years ago, but I had to start over, once the company to whom I had been licensed took over my business.  They took over all licensees, so they could sell.  In my younger days, I had been too trusting!  Wanting someone to love me made me accept what I was told, rather than fully checking out things for myself.  Don't ever agree to be licensed to a company that determines retail, your cost of goods and services, and that you have to continuously buy new equipment.  The result was a nice cash flow, but no money to save!  Outdated equipment is still inventory for taxes and considered an asset, but doesn't generate income and is not beneficial when getting a divorce!  

Being in business was never my dream.  My hard work brought me some nice trips that I won or was awarded due to boards and providing advice; however, I never had the money to vacation on my own or live a lavish lifestyle.  My life splurges were to 2 or 3 sorority conventions, OU season tickets when I was younger and the donation and seats were part of doing business.  My 401K was depleted years ago and what was in Merrill Lynch was a part of their magic deception!  I long ago sold valuable possessions.  I thought I could sell a fur jacket but found out that since it had not been in cold storage in about 20 years, it was worthless!  Jewelry that had once been insured, got sold as gold or silver.  I did hold on to a few things to know I had lived!  

The 3 friends listed as my team have been telling me for some time to get out of my house because the upkeep exceeded my abilities.  I knew that was true, but couldn't figure out how to do it.  Since my medical expenses had increased so much that I could not afford my refinanced house payment, how could I afford to pay rent elsewhere?  In addition, I had no money to move out, so I was trapped! Because I have always been so damn independent, I had no idea how to ask for help!  I became more and more depressed, not letting anyone inside my house and hardly leaving my house.  I had no idea who or how to ask for help and was frozen!  Most weeks, I never even talk to anyone!  

Had I died, over a decade ago,  when septic shock almost took me out, it would have saved my reputation.  However, God had something else in mind so he left me here and I have been trying to find what He wants me to do.  Needing help has definitely put a blemish on my life.  Parts of my body have continued to break down and the cost of medicine keeps rising!  My medical insurance and cost of medication exceed $800 a month and that is a chunk of my social security.  Consequently, as health expenses increased, my ability to pay for anything else decreased.  Now, I am 75 and homeless and if something doesn't happen to make insurance and medication more affordable for seniors, the same thing is going to continue happening to seniors.

Due to the generosity of friends, I have recently picked up prescriptions and can certainly tell the difference.  I negotiated some time to get stuff out of my house because my body isn't capable of doing much.  After about 5 minutes of standing, it is time to sit!  Tulsa has grown while some cities have shrunk.  Housing assistance says that getting help takes from 6 months to 4 years!  I have no idea where I am going.  Since I have a good team of doctors, I hope to stay in the Tulsa metro.   My next choice will be to stay in Oklahoma but work my way northeast on I-44, toward my place of birth/burial or something in Carthage.  Thus far, I haven't been able to find anything, but am looking.  Knowing that housing is scarce, the possessions I keep might have to go into storage, with me in extended living, until I can get help for an apartment.  All area housing has increased by at least 25% this past year and is in short supply, so I can't anticipate costs.

I have daydreamed about winning the lottery and being able to repay everyone that helps.  However, since I have only had 3 or 4 lottery tickets ever, I'm not sure how that could happen.  I have a lot of faith and believe there is a plan, but I have to ask for your help to let me get started again, so I can get settled and live out whatever is planned for me.  Getting help selling possessions, packing up stuff to move, moving items, storing, deposits, and beginning rent will help.  If I don't keep my feel elevated, my feet and ankles swell.  Doctors can't tell if it is my heart, kidneys, my back, or other ailments, but keep trying.   I have come to the realization that my health is made worse by all this stress of not having enough money to live!  It might be easier to get help with medication, than housing, so I have a new approach and continued prayers for guidance and strength.  

Any help you can give at this time would be appreciated.  Your prayers are important and sharing this as much as possible is a must.  I will be 75 by the end of the month and have nowhere to go.  I have worked hard all my life and volunteered because that was my calling.  I paid it forward, helping others along the way, but now I am in need!  Had I been blessed with children, I'm sure I would have a home, but birth defects made that impossible.  I am full of gratitude and love for those who have helped and reached out.  My circumstances, which to me is failure, is not my style so is hard to talk about.  My primary care doctor is checking on me and I'm praying that God's will be done! Please share to as many sources as you can because social media is like a foreign language to me!