Vet and Family having hard times

#GoBeyondGiving Hello everyone, thank you for taking the time to read our post. I apologize if our story is a little lengthy to read however I really want to give as much detail as possible.

For several years now we have been struggling financially day and night, this is our first attempt to go this route as we have tried utilizing every service, organization and creditor for assistance with no success. I would ask family however they have given us more moral support than we could ask for, to include helping to keep groceries in our fridge and a roof over our heads when they can.

We are a prior service family, I am a US Army Veteran   E-6 of 12 years, 10 active duty stationed in Europe and 2 national guard in Maine. I am married to my best friend, and have the best son (14) which I took care of from age 4 to now which I have fully adopted and couldn’t be more proud and my daughter (7) who is the most adorable loving girl and I could never ask for more, also couldn’t forget our 2 labs and 1 cat which we treat as our own babies lol.

Our problems began in Europe and have continued to progress over the years. In my years of service I served several tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. During this time we strived to save for our future and for the kids future. On military pay that wasn’t all too much however I think we did a great job in doing so.

Although not the cause Id like to share for anyone who know the adoption process in Europe is very lengthy and very costly for a family. This was completed prior to my final deployment to Afghanistan. Then begins our journey to where we are now.

Towards the end of my deployment I received an important message to call my Command Sergeant Major, this was the worst news I have ever received and wish not this happens to anybody. When I called he explained my wife was in a head on collision on the highway and she was sent to the hospital via life flight but passed away due to her injuries, and also that there were kids involved but didn’t know if they were mine at the time.

I had no clue what to do, I broke down, for the next 5 minutes before the next call I was in despair and felt I was in a dream. In the next call he told me my wife was revived, and in ICU but unsure if she would make it through the night, also the kids were from the other vehicle and also the other driver who were ok, I started my way back ASAP and it took a long 4 days with no updates on my wife’s status,

I didn’t sleep, eat and I was in denial of the whole thing, and continued to blame myself for not being home with my family where I belong which is a big reason I am out today.

After several surgeries and therapy sessions later my wife was finally able to come home, although in a wheelchair for the next few months I didn’t care, it was December 24th and was the best dam christmas present I could ever receive, she was safe and in my arms.

I didn’t work for the next 4 months and basically was a stay at home dad for my kids and taking care of my wife. Now was the time everything went down hill financially. Knowing my wife was stuck in a wheelchair for several more months and couldn’t even bathe or use the restroom on her own, the only care I had in my mind was to be there for her when she needed me day and night but also every hour wondering how my Soldiers were overseas and hoping they all make it home safe.

Despite all of this there were still unfinished business with insurance, local police, military police and all I needed to tend. The vehicle she had was bought right before we deployed, come to find out, as this was a brand new vehicle we definitely took advantage of GAP insurance but the credit union failed to roll over gap when we refinanced to a lower rate.

Prior to knowing this, my thoughts were once the assessor has verified it as a total loss which it was and to use the money from GAP for down payment on a used vehicle as we were still without a car. In the end, after fighting day after day with the creditor and insurance we were unable to get the balance paid which left me to pay close to $9,000. Once again I knew I couldn’t afford another vehicle until this was paid so with most our savings again I paid this balance.

While I was away in Afghanistan I had already had in my mind that after this I was going to separate active duty. So my main goal was to ensure we had money saved up for our new life back home in Maine which we currently are. In Europe it’s so hard to find a decent vehicle with US specs for anything under 6k.

After searching around I had finally found a car, it was a Hyundai Accent which was $9,000. I used what was left in my account and my in-laws helped out with the other few thousand I did not have. I wanted a little larger vehicle, one that would be easy for her to go in and out especially with the wheelchair but this was not an option at the time.

When I finally went to pick up the vehicle and brought it home I was excited to show my wife as we were relying on others for doctor appointments back and forth to the hospital. I’ll never forget her face when she saw it.

You must know and understand, anyone with an accident as bad as hers she more than likely had mixed emotions and PTSD relating to this this. She wanted nothing to do with this vehicle, no matter how many times I tried to persuade her to go in she refused. A lot of her concerns and fear was what the fireman mentioned was with any smaller vehicle she wouldn’t be here and that stuck in her mind even till this day.

So I did what any loving husband would do, I went to the dealership and purchased a newer Saturn Vue SUV she would be comfortable in. That vehicle I financed as I had no money to put down and I already knew we still couldn’t afford it. When I brought it home she burst in tears and was more than happy to finally leave the house in a car together and her wheelchair fit perfectly in the back.

Fast forward several months later, it was a long road to recovery for my wife, however she was out of the wheelchair and able to walk around with her walker. My wife says all the time and same with family maybe all this happened while I was gone and was a way for god to get me back home safe with my family.

I couldn’t say why, but I was happy non the less she was recovering and my kids were ok and I could be with them. At this point we thought we were in the clear from everything with the accident as my wife was written by military police as a no fault because her car swerved in slush and snow due to an oil spill on the road by a semi. However, German laws are so different and in the end being in their country German law is what we have to follow.

Because it was her vehicle that swerved regardless of the reasons why into oncoming traffic we were fined my German law ordered to pay several thousand dollars to the courts and the other drivers  which I did not have and my wife lost her license. I continued to hold off on paying and eventually were threatened for her to go to jail if not paid.

It was my decision and I did not pay bills for several months just to pay the courts which put us way behind everything else and if it wasn’t for my in-laws once again helping out with court/lawyer fees costs I’m not sure if we would be here right now. I did not want the help from them as we knew they were struggling as well due to the last help they gave but they did and I love them so much for that and promise to pay them back regardless how long it took.

So having several years left I knew I didn’t want to deploy again, I applied for a very strenuous job as a Senior Instructor at Europe’s 7th Army Non-Commissioned Officer Academy.

I was working Monday through Saturday 4:00 am to about 8-9:00 pm daily. Despite the long hours this was probably the most rewarding job I had in the Army. I was teaching young Sergeants fundamental of leadership in garrison and in combat, mainly teaching classes of 18 and platoons of 60 how to be sergeants and lead Soldiers.

Along with this workload now came the process to start separation as you start a year from retirement or ETS. I attended all transitional classes I could. As my wife and son were both German citizens we must ensure they are approved for travel and to live in the US and start the process for immigration to the united states. Not sure if anyone has ever done this for a relative but it can be very costly, and with minimal funds we had we wanted to make sure it was done right.

My wife’s visa and applications were processed smoothly and completed prior to our departure from Germany to Maine, so we thought my sons paperwork was all set as this was what USCIS informed me, they were far from wrong. Due to poor guidance from their office in filing certain forms and applications every time it was either wrong or denied for one reason or the other with no refunds each time which continued to add up.

Until a few months ago we spent all savings we had fighting this and then our congressman assisted us and finally completed the process and he is now officially a US citizen, but still left with a huge dent in our finances because USCIS representatives had no clue what they were doing.
We moved from Germany to Maine in 2014.

Our intentions and goal when moving was to have a nest egg to start our new life but that didn’t happen with everything that went on. My parents took us in for several weeks while we tried to find a place of our own. Our problem was nobody was accepting our applications because of our pets and we really needed to move because a 2-bedroom trailer with my parents, the 4 of us and pets,  it was way too tight. We found a home and they did work with us on a rental agreement since I explained our financial situation with them but the rental was only temporary.

It was difficult to find a creditor as since all this happened and being late on all our bills our credit went from excellent to lowest of low in matter of few short years. We finally did find a company to work with us and little cash we had was for the closing of a mortgage at the home we live now in Sabattus Maine which not our dream home by all means but a place to live and call home for once in our life. Because we had no money we knew only way was to go for a VA home loan. Due to the stipulations for VA and the amount we were approved for we looked at several properties and had to pay for each inspection because but VA denied all prior homes.

We finally closed on the house and moved in, and it was a hard decision because for one we had no money for an inspection as we utilized every cent on the past ones, and we had 2 weeks before we needed to leave the rental per our agreement.

Thank god we had her parents and my family behind us, because they helped with closing costs but not too much as they already helped in Germany and couldn’t do much more.

Within several months of living there we started experiencing problems with the home. First was the septic and drain field. The drain field stopped working and because I didn’t have money for professional I dug up the yard to find each and every pipe was pressed and squished together and no draining but up out the ground and sewage filling our yard. I had to get this fixed with the ground freezing and winter around the corner.

Several YouTube video later I was outside, dug everything up and tried replacing several pipes to get somewhat of drain from the tank. I think I did a great job as its still holding but probably not for long. I did have a septic guy I found who was cheap and asked for his assistance.

After a thorough review he noted within a year we would need a new system which costs anywhere from 7-12K. At this point with everything going on we were heartbroken and didn’t know what to do or to say. It just seemed like we could never catch a break. Within weeks I had to replace one bathroom as the inside walls were covered in mold and no way was I going to let anyone get sick.

I do have a great job, not the job I wanted but it’s a stable job and a career. My first choice was to become an HVAC/R technician which I did attend Northeast Technical Institute and graduated with high honors when I left the service.

I knew this field had exceptional opportunities and pay which would be great for us. I was in the field working for several months after graduation, and because of problems with my back I just couldn’t do it anymore and my boss as much as he loved having me was actually the one who said to change careers and take care of myself. That’s is why I am working as a member solution specialist at a credit union now, I’m not as sore as I was and able to enjoy my time off with the kids instead of laying on the couch to rest.

We continue to be behind on all bills, we struggle paycheck to paycheck, my wife now working 2 jobs as well and yet we couldn’t be happier because the kids love their school, friends and being here with other half of family they never see. I wanted so much more for our life, but yet no matter how hard I try seems like I’m always taking 2 steps back.

Collectors call day and night, I have to pick and choose what we pay every week. We’ve needed to pawn belongings, sell our stuff, take out several loans since we have been here just to stay afloat, and I know borrowing money to pay for money or services that’s borrowed isn’t right but we have no other choice. The hardest thing knowing is what has came to our attention recently.

We have been trying to pay my in-laws back first given the thousands of dollars they have used to help my family because of all that has happened. They still continue to try and support us although now knowing how much they struggle now and we try to deny them to send anything but they do. They send money for our kids to play sports they want, helping occasionally still with bills, holiday expenses and for us to go do something when we can with the kids so they can enjoy their new life in Maine.

The plans have changed, at first we were so happy and everyone was happy for us to Move and be done with the Army and always having to leave and they still are. However, because the kids grew up with Oma and Opa always around they and us knew they needed to be part of their life still and plans were for them to come visit as 2 plane tickets was easier than 4 to buy.

Now they are close to retirement, and because of everything they have done the savings they had and planned trips to see us have all been used up and now unsure as to when they can even get here. 

I am writing this campaign not so much for us, but for my family. I really want to pay them back and the way things are there’s no way I will ever be able to do that any time soon. I can live with being behind on all our bills but I want my family in Germany to be part of my kids, wife, myself and my family here in Maine lives. I absolutely do not want them struggling because of their desire to help us.

So please, I understand everyone has similar, or worse situation than us and I do not expect anyone to help, but if you could please pass this on it would mean more to my family than anything just to be heard.

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and we hope you have a wonderful and joyful holiday with your families.

Sincerely,
The Soucy Family