Help Eli get HRT and Top Surgery
Donation protected
My name is Eli and I live in the south of England.
Eight years ago, I discovered the word 'transgender', and as soon as I read the definition my understanding of my own gender was thrown into turmoil.
I was born female and lived that way for 17 years, but as soon as I realised that you could transition from one gender to another, it was like something clicked.
I cut my hair. I wore different clothes. I even changed my name.
But I was only 17, and I was going through a tremendously awful time. I was living with undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and a life-limiting phobia that prevented me from leaving the house or even my bed. I was so full of panic that I had to shove my concerns about gender to one side, figuring I had to prioritise. I couldn't dig any further into my feelings while I couldn't leave the house.
So, despite the distress it was causing me, I flung the word 'transgender' aside.
Eight years went by. That's a long time. I stopped bothering to buy men's clothes. I shrugged my shoulders when someone called me 'she'. I didn't bind my chest and stopped trying to look masculine. It was just too hard: there was no point in trying, when I looked so female.
Meanwhile, my life with (now diagnosed and treated) PTSD was going rather well. I attended university! I had three sweet, loving dogs. I could leave the house, and, well, I couldn't work, but I could volunteer just fine.
In April of this year, my medication stopped working out of the blue. It took three months for doctors to prescribe me an alternative, during which time I was going through both my mental health off medication AND withdrawal from said medication. The months since then have been a rollercoaster of trying to get the right dosage for this new one. And I tell you what, it hasn't been a wonderful few months.
So this wasn't the moment I intended to return to thinking about gender. In fact, I didn't even consider myself 'better' when I was attending university. I still couldn't work, couldn't socialise, couldn't support myself and live on my own.
I wanted to wait until I had my life together enough that I could pass as a 'normal' 25 year old adult. But brains don't work that way. They don't give us time and jump in when it's most convenient.
It seems that I can no longer ignore the insistent gnawing in my chest that everything is wrong and ever since I acknowledged it, it's only gotten worse. I think bottling it up for so long only made it stronger.
And so I've come to the decision to try it. To see how it goes. To see whether I can be happier and more like me if I say yes, yes I am. Yes, I need this.
Unfortunately, healthcare for trans people is still stuck in the dark ages. I have been referred to an NHS clinic, but the wait until my first appointment is at minimum 18 months. Then another year for the second.
I can't wait that long.
I have to go private, which means costs. Hormone therapy and surgical procedures are highly expensive and I cannot afford them on my own.
That's why I need you guys.
£8000 isn't a random number; I'm asking you for money, so I will be completely clear with you how it all breaks down.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (Testosterone)
This will increase the levels of testosterone in my blood, which will result in significant physical changes.
One-off private clinic fee: £195
Mandatory counselling session: £50
Monthly private clinic fee: £30
If my GP agrees to offer 'shared care', I will be offered HRT at the normal rate of an NHS prescription.
If they refuse, I will have to pay £200 for regular blood tests and more for the full cost of the private prescription.
Top Surgery (Chest Reconstruction Surgery)
This will reconstruct my chest to a more masculine appearance.
Initial surgical consultation: £165
Surgery itself and follow-up consultation: £7128
Hotel and transportation costs: ~£200
Other
Before surgery and during hormone therapy, there are several different items that I would be very grateful to have. For example, binders (to reduce chest size), suitable clothing, etc. ~£100-£300
I would not be asking you for this if I had literally any other option.
Some of you might be surprised to read this about me. Me too. I would much prefer to stay private about my personal life.
But this is something I need, not something I want, and that's just enough to make me ask for a little help.
Even a fiver will do.
Eight years ago, I discovered the word 'transgender', and as soon as I read the definition my understanding of my own gender was thrown into turmoil.
I was born female and lived that way for 17 years, but as soon as I realised that you could transition from one gender to another, it was like something clicked.
I cut my hair. I wore different clothes. I even changed my name.
But I was only 17, and I was going through a tremendously awful time. I was living with undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and a life-limiting phobia that prevented me from leaving the house or even my bed. I was so full of panic that I had to shove my concerns about gender to one side, figuring I had to prioritise. I couldn't dig any further into my feelings while I couldn't leave the house.
So, despite the distress it was causing me, I flung the word 'transgender' aside.
Eight years went by. That's a long time. I stopped bothering to buy men's clothes. I shrugged my shoulders when someone called me 'she'. I didn't bind my chest and stopped trying to look masculine. It was just too hard: there was no point in trying, when I looked so female.
Meanwhile, my life with (now diagnosed and treated) PTSD was going rather well. I attended university! I had three sweet, loving dogs. I could leave the house, and, well, I couldn't work, but I could volunteer just fine.
In April of this year, my medication stopped working out of the blue. It took three months for doctors to prescribe me an alternative, during which time I was going through both my mental health off medication AND withdrawal from said medication. The months since then have been a rollercoaster of trying to get the right dosage for this new one. And I tell you what, it hasn't been a wonderful few months.
So this wasn't the moment I intended to return to thinking about gender. In fact, I didn't even consider myself 'better' when I was attending university. I still couldn't work, couldn't socialise, couldn't support myself and live on my own.
I wanted to wait until I had my life together enough that I could pass as a 'normal' 25 year old adult. But brains don't work that way. They don't give us time and jump in when it's most convenient.
It seems that I can no longer ignore the insistent gnawing in my chest that everything is wrong and ever since I acknowledged it, it's only gotten worse. I think bottling it up for so long only made it stronger.
And so I've come to the decision to try it. To see how it goes. To see whether I can be happier and more like me if I say yes, yes I am. Yes, I need this.
Unfortunately, healthcare for trans people is still stuck in the dark ages. I have been referred to an NHS clinic, but the wait until my first appointment is at minimum 18 months. Then another year for the second.
I can't wait that long.
I have to go private, which means costs. Hormone therapy and surgical procedures are highly expensive and I cannot afford them on my own.
That's why I need you guys.
£8000 isn't a random number; I'm asking you for money, so I will be completely clear with you how it all breaks down.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (Testosterone)
This will increase the levels of testosterone in my blood, which will result in significant physical changes.
One-off private clinic fee: £195
Mandatory counselling session: £50
Monthly private clinic fee: £30
If my GP agrees to offer 'shared care', I will be offered HRT at the normal rate of an NHS prescription.
If they refuse, I will have to pay £200 for regular blood tests and more for the full cost of the private prescription.
Top Surgery (Chest Reconstruction Surgery)
This will reconstruct my chest to a more masculine appearance.
Initial surgical consultation: £165
Surgery itself and follow-up consultation: £7128
Hotel and transportation costs: ~£200
Other
Before surgery and during hormone therapy, there are several different items that I would be very grateful to have. For example, binders (to reduce chest size), suitable clothing, etc. ~£100-£300
I would not be asking you for this if I had literally any other option.
Some of you might be surprised to read this about me. Me too. I would much prefer to stay private about my personal life.
But this is something I need, not something I want, and that's just enough to make me ask for a little help.
Even a fiver will do.
Organizer
Eli Jones
Organizer