Please Help Liv Live

Imagine how terrifying being told you're dying of anorexia is.  Now imagine people blaming you for having the disease. Imagine them saying "you should be ashamed of yourself" for dying. Imagine having the opportunity to enter a potentially lifesaving treatment hospital, but now imagine your insurance company refuses to cover the treatment that could prevent you from dying. I've started this gofundme because despite the insurance companies and the healthcare system not caring if I drop dead, I do. I don't want to die of this. Please help me in this fight if you can.

I have been reticent to speak about my illness, simply because I am dying of a disease that carries the unique distinction of being, by far, the most fatal mental illness, but also, the one which receives the most scorn. It's a misunderstood disease, and people believe that it is something you choose to have, as opposed to something that you develop like any other disease. It's not something solved by "eating a cheeseburger." In fact, due to the severe state of my health, eating a cheeseburger could potentially kill me right now.

I'm currently under 15% BMI, and anything under 20% BMI is considered underweight, with under 15% being critically underweight. Anorexia nervosa can have numerous complications. I have already developed heart and liver problems. At its most severe, it can be fatal. Death may occur suddenly — even when someone is not severely underweight. This may result from abnormal heart rhythms (arrhythmias) or an imbalance of electrolytes — minerals such as sodium, potassium and calcium that maintain the balance of fluids in your body.
Other complications of anorexia include Anemia, Heart problems, such as mitral valve prolapse, abnormal heart rhythms or heart failure, Organ failure, Respiratory failure, stroke, Bone loss, increasing risk of fractures later in life, Loss of menstrual cycle, and more.

Since I was 19, I have been fighting an eating disorder. It's a hard disease to speak about, because as is often the case with mental illnesses, people don't understand the severity of them, nor do they consider them legitimate diseases. Last year, I was almost fully recovered and doing very well, but having recently lost my footing and have backslid. It's recently been determined by a panel of doctors that my life is at risk now which is very scary, and I am lower than the government standard 15% BMI which means my only option is residential hospitalization. These programs are extraordinarily expensive. Because eating disorders are considered "optional" and constitute a preexisting condition, treatment is not covered by insurance. I am literally stuck. I have created a gofundme to try to help me enter into one of these treatment facilities. I didn't do it for the best potato salad recipe on kickstarter or whatever that fundraiser was last year. If you know me for real, you know I've been fighting this for a while. And I would appreciate a little sensitivity and understanding going forward. If you want to judge me and call me a bad person for having an eating disorder, then please do so. But all I can say is that this disease is definitely not optional. It's nothing anyone would ever choose to have. I want nothing more than to recover, and there is only one way forward at this point. If you want to judge me, that's up to you. Thanks to everyone who has shown sensitivity and support and understanding and love. Your support means the world to me, and I can't wait to show my appreciation for you all when I'm on the other side of this disease. You wouldn't believe how people treat someone like me. Sometimes the looks I get are enough to make me cry on the spot. This is really truly the first time I've ever acknowledged it publicly, and it's very very difficult to discuss. There are so many stigmas attached to mental illnesses and it's not at all fair.
Imagine having your worst fears / most intimate secrets / greatest weaknesses tattooed in a physical manifestation all over your body for everyone to judge and criticize without actually knowing what brought you to that point in your life. That's what this feels like.
It is a debilitating and tortuous disease. It saddens me that it is not treated like any other addiction or mental illness. Those who judge and berate me with such obscene levels of insensitivity and ignorance cause me to lose all hope in humanity.

Given the severity of my worsening health, please help me if you can. Sadly, I can't get insurance because anorexia is considered a "preexisting condition,"  so I'm having to beg total strangers to help save my life. Thank you for listening, and for your support.

I don't want this disease to be the end for me. Please help if you can and I genuinely appreciate your support! 

(Treatment program = $1200/day for 6-12 weeks, for estimated out of pocket cost between $67,200-$100,800.)