Hike away Anxiety

Some years ago, I do not recall when I began to realize I was completely and utterly miserable. Waking up was not worth doing and felt unfortunate.  I began to fixate on how things would be better for everyone else if I simply wasn't there. I sought therapy through a work-life program and thought it helped. When the benefit ended I was not able to afford to continue with the therapy.  I was able to hold my own and keep things positive for a few more years before the spiral began again. I was able to find the means to get into therapy again, but by this time I had begun to lose time at work. I was diagnosed and able to be protected under FMLA.  I continued to spiral ever lower and conditions at work and the grip it held over me was unendurable.  For various reasons, I felt my best chance of survival was to leave my employer, the only point of stability I'd had for more than a decade.

I struggle with the "invisible illness" on a daily basis and struggle to recall that spark and delight that life is supposed to have. One of my main driving interests is with minimalism and transitioning to a simple life.  I am a creative individual but the friction between artistic endeavors and society's consumerist avarice drives my depression.

My plan is a simple one and inspired by my enjoyment of the outdoors. Things slow down, become easier and more focused with a long walk. I have done the research and planning necessary to begin long-distance hiking. I will thru-hike the Appalachian Trail in 2018. I will start in Georgia in mid-February and walk north about 2200 miles. It is my hope that this challenge will help set me on a more healthy, constructive path.

The funds from this campaign will go towards mitigating the considerable expense of such a long hike. Gear breaks, shoes wear out, storms cause delays and unforeseeable things happen. There is also what happens after the hike is done. Transportation home, the time needed to adjust to not being on the trail and the work needed to process the experience. I have been Vlogging for more than a year now and will continue to do so from the trail. YouTube took away revenue generation options for small creators and continues to persecute a group of creators which includes outdoor enthusiasts. It is my hope that this campaign will also allow supporters to contribute in place of advertisers.

What this means to me are several things. Firstly the confirmation that there is good and good people still in the world. The funds are tangible proof, that no matter how difficult the trail is or how hard it is to work through the anxiety and depression, someone out there is saying "yes, you can and here is your chance." This campaign will aid me to have the time to network and find a gainful activity I look forward to, which complements me rather than something I dread.