Lauryn wants a divorce

We all make mistakes, right? Like the time I attempted a DIY Brazillian wax and stuck my bits together, or the time I raced outside with an exploding coke can forgetting I was naked. 

I also made a mistake in marrying the wrong person. To be fair, the marriage produced the most beautiful little girl who is so cute that my ovaries high-five each other everytime I look at her.  

I had hoped my ex and I could file a joint divorce in order to avoid serving fees, however I have been waiting a very long time to recieve all the documents required back.  

After a recent advertisement I made for my wedding dress went viral, I had two thoughts: 1) at least it isn't herpes; 2) 'why not try crowd funding the divorce'. What's the worse that can happen?! Even if I only get $1, it will still be less of a failure than my marriage. 

Here is a breakdown of fees:

Marriage certificate (No idea where that is. The ex claims he doesn't have it, but he also claimed he threw out my camping fridge and is now selling it on Buy/Swap/Sell sites): $53

Filing divorce papers:  $290 (Usually over $800, but I should be able to get this reduced because I am a home maker.... my fancy way of saying I am unemployed and wash-up the dishes every few days)

Having divorce papers served: $77

TOTAL = $420

I doubt I will get to this amount, and that's cool. In the rare chance I go over it, the money will be spent on booze to celebrate and possibly some smoking hot lingerie from Honey Birdette.