Mum broke my arm, help escape abuse
Donation protected
TW: Domestic abuse, physical abuse, suicidal thoughts
What happened?
On Friday, April the 6th, 2018 I spent the entire night at the A&E of my local hospital. A minor argument had escalated and it lead to my mother taking a metal rod of a mop and using it to aim for my head, luckily I raised my elbow to protect myself and only got away with a fractured right forearm - it could have been much worse. However, it is not something anyone in this world should have to endure.
I was fortunately able to pay the medical bills out of pocket, but I am in great need of financial support to move out.
Who I am + what the fund is for?
I am 24 years old, I have two part-time jobs teaching kids which is more out of passion (that collectively pay around 800USD per month most of which goes towards bills leaving me enough for transport and food) and currently go to law school with a dream to become a human rights lawyer. The contract for one of the jobs was temporary from this Jan, and will end in June leaving me with about 350USD per month. The average rent in my city is upwards of $900 USD per month.
This fund is to be able to sponsor my emergency move, as the abusive situation is worsening day by day. I have one more year of law school but after that would have to do an additional year of qualifying degree + 2 more years of training, so there are 4 more years before I can actually potentially smell freedom on my own. But as the situation is worsening and so unpredictable, I am frankly afraid for my life and may have to quit school (my bachelors was in Sociology) and find a job to move out which takes time and would cause my family to abuse me more if I am not careful and strategic about planning it. However I plan to begin sending out applications for teaching jobs for the next school year just in case.
For some more background:
I grew up in an abusive household, and due to financial constraints in an expensive city with grossly unaffordable housing like Hong Kong, where adult children live with their parents until their 30s, I have no means of moving out and am financially tied due to school as of now (for which they use to blackmail me and last semester I was actually kicked out because my dad refused to pay but they let me back in).
My parents migrated to Hong Kong in 1993. I have an older brother (27), a younger brother (21, studies abroad) and a younger sister (15), and extremely strict African muslim parents who, due to their cultural values, targeted me since I was a child for their harshest rules because I am female. When I innocently as a 5/6 year old asked why my brothers received preferential treatment, I would be met with abuse for reasons I didn't understand. As such I became the scapegoat of the family, bearing the brunt and blame for every event. And I would receive beatings for almost anything, but would always believe that things would get better one day. I already tried to ask if I could move to a dorm but my parents called me insane and that 'girls in our culture don't move until marriage' thinking I wanted to move out to sleep with men, when in reality I have no interest in that at all. I am also scared that my parents are planning an arranged marriage because my mother keeps insisting that I go home with her to visit and my aunt and grandma called to tell me about men that they have their eye on for me that asked them for my hand (it is just the culture of where we are from).
At this point, upon having my arm broken I realised the situation just got worse.
My mum has made threats to break my things, hurt me, and has even said on multiple occasions that she would kill me. Yes. Kill.
Back in my bachelors degree when I fell into a deep depression, which I still struggle with now, my mother laughed when I confided in her, making me feel alone and isolated in my own family.
After the broken arm:
It is now the early morning of April the 8th, 2 days after the incident. After fracturing my arm she claimed that it was my fault that my bones were too weak. When we got home from the hospital that night (which I had been at by myself from 11:30 pm to 7:30am when they finally decided to show up) her and my father absolutely came at me claiming this is what I deserve and she said she's prepared to do more and even go to jail for it, she says she will buy more sticks to hit us with (she threatens my sister too but I bear most of it.) My father also stated last night that he doesn't care that I am in a cast, but will still hit me if he needs to.
Final Words:
The saddest part is I still love them, I love my family, I used to be very suicidal because they blamed me for all their problems and I genuinely thought their lives would be better without me. I was in such a very dark place for years, but I found good and supportive people and am going through counselling at my university. Despite all this, my safety comes first and I just don't see this place as safe anymore. It feels like my life is constantly in danger, and I don't feel like I can survive anymore.
What happened?
On Friday, April the 6th, 2018 I spent the entire night at the A&E of my local hospital. A minor argument had escalated and it lead to my mother taking a metal rod of a mop and using it to aim for my head, luckily I raised my elbow to protect myself and only got away with a fractured right forearm - it could have been much worse. However, it is not something anyone in this world should have to endure.
I was fortunately able to pay the medical bills out of pocket, but I am in great need of financial support to move out.
Who I am + what the fund is for?
I am 24 years old, I have two part-time jobs teaching kids which is more out of passion (that collectively pay around 800USD per month most of which goes towards bills leaving me enough for transport and food) and currently go to law school with a dream to become a human rights lawyer. The contract for one of the jobs was temporary from this Jan, and will end in June leaving me with about 350USD per month. The average rent in my city is upwards of $900 USD per month.
This fund is to be able to sponsor my emergency move, as the abusive situation is worsening day by day. I have one more year of law school but after that would have to do an additional year of qualifying degree + 2 more years of training, so there are 4 more years before I can actually potentially smell freedom on my own. But as the situation is worsening and so unpredictable, I am frankly afraid for my life and may have to quit school (my bachelors was in Sociology) and find a job to move out which takes time and would cause my family to abuse me more if I am not careful and strategic about planning it. However I plan to begin sending out applications for teaching jobs for the next school year just in case.
For some more background:
I grew up in an abusive household, and due to financial constraints in an expensive city with grossly unaffordable housing like Hong Kong, where adult children live with their parents until their 30s, I have no means of moving out and am financially tied due to school as of now (for which they use to blackmail me and last semester I was actually kicked out because my dad refused to pay but they let me back in).
My parents migrated to Hong Kong in 1993. I have an older brother (27), a younger brother (21, studies abroad) and a younger sister (15), and extremely strict African muslim parents who, due to their cultural values, targeted me since I was a child for their harshest rules because I am female. When I innocently as a 5/6 year old asked why my brothers received preferential treatment, I would be met with abuse for reasons I didn't understand. As such I became the scapegoat of the family, bearing the brunt and blame for every event. And I would receive beatings for almost anything, but would always believe that things would get better one day. I already tried to ask if I could move to a dorm but my parents called me insane and that 'girls in our culture don't move until marriage' thinking I wanted to move out to sleep with men, when in reality I have no interest in that at all. I am also scared that my parents are planning an arranged marriage because my mother keeps insisting that I go home with her to visit and my aunt and grandma called to tell me about men that they have their eye on for me that asked them for my hand (it is just the culture of where we are from).
At this point, upon having my arm broken I realised the situation just got worse.
My mum has made threats to break my things, hurt me, and has even said on multiple occasions that she would kill me. Yes. Kill.
Back in my bachelors degree when I fell into a deep depression, which I still struggle with now, my mother laughed when I confided in her, making me feel alone and isolated in my own family.
After the broken arm:
It is now the early morning of April the 8th, 2 days after the incident. After fracturing my arm she claimed that it was my fault that my bones were too weak. When we got home from the hospital that night (which I had been at by myself from 11:30 pm to 7:30am when they finally decided to show up) her and my father absolutely came at me claiming this is what I deserve and she said she's prepared to do more and even go to jail for it, she says she will buy more sticks to hit us with (she threatens my sister too but I bear most of it.) My father also stated last night that he doesn't care that I am in a cast, but will still hit me if he needs to.
Final Words:
The saddest part is I still love them, I love my family, I used to be very suicidal because they blamed me for all their problems and I genuinely thought their lives would be better without me. I was in such a very dark place for years, but I found good and supportive people and am going through counselling at my university. Despite all this, my safety comes first and I just don't see this place as safe anymore. It feels like my life is constantly in danger, and I don't feel like I can survive anymore.
Organizer
M M
Organizer