Serota Gets A Yacht I Get Some Food

Nicholas Serota is leaving the Tate galleries – us, the front of house staff, are heartbroken! His legacy of outsourcing, union-busting*, stagnating wages and corporate smooching will be dearly missed. As you can see from the picture of the poster found at the service staff room of the Tate Britain, Mr Serota is likely to get the pay for all his hard work – a yacht.
I have been inspired by this crowdsourcing technique and hoping that I can ask for something even more frivolous such as money for rent, transport and lunch (the staff canteen just put the prices up, you see). 
While I deeply regret that my need for 2 for the price of 1 tortellini pack and a pint of milk will mean that I may not be able to contribute to Serota's fund, I surely welcome the spirit – ask publicly funded employees that have no social security, sickpay, holiday pay or pensions to pay for a parting gift that is worth more than 10 years of our salary.
Please donate to my fund – an aspiring artist that is being pushed out of London by ever-rising rent, transport and studio costs. While you do, pay a little prayer to Mr Serota – god forbid he gets sea-sickness thinking of us gross poverty types whilst on his 275k / year salary.


*Securitas won't recognise PCS union