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Rally for Ryan - Overdose Awareness
Donation protected
On July 10th, 2014, my son, Ryan, died of a heroin overdose. He struggled with the disease of addiction for just under two years. An addiction that began with marijuana then opiates, eventually moved to heroin. The progression was rapid. The progression was tragic.
Ryan was the oldest of our 4 children. In the 23 years he lived on this earth, he was outgoing, intelligent, artistic, creative, energetic, had a goofy sense of humor, and a passion for music. Ryan excelled in music, art and photography and was most content when playing guitar, painting, drawing or taking pictures. He was so much fun to be around! I miss him every day. Every minute. Every second!
The number of drug-related deaths is rising in the United States. Each year, more people are dying from overdoses than car accidents, and more than half of overdoses involve opioids, such as heroin and prescription painkillers.
One in three families is affected by the disease of addiction. Addiction has no face; its victims may be your neighbors, your teammates, your friends. Many become addicted from a physician’s prescription; others from one poor choice. Addiction recovery programs are too few and ineffective, while stigmas and pharmaceutical profitability impede reform.
Why do I continue this fight? For my son. And, for the many changes that must happen across our healthcare/insurance system as a whole. The treatment process that ‘one size’ fits all and the inadequate funding and resources needs to change!
For the mom’s out there that are going through or have gone through this pain, hurt, worry, stress, isolation and complete unmanageability in their lives and who ask themselves daily “what did I do wrong?”, I say to you, there is nothing you could have done. I am still struggling with this one. Know that you are not alone and you need support. Reach out. There are many of us here.
With the help of my friends, family, and those who are wanting to join the campaign, I will be able to support my mission, and that is, to continue to raise awareness regarding addiction and treatments available. My goal is to attend the Fed Up (Opioid Prescription Overdose) Rally in Washington DC and become a Recovery Coach.
My Go Fund Me page will help cover costs for:
- Travel expenses to attend the Fed up Rally in Washington D.C. on September 18th.
- Training from October 31st – November 4th to become a Recovery Coach so I have the tools and knowledge to support other families experiencing addiction, or grief and loss as a result of its devastating effects.
- Purchasing Naloxone kits to distribute to those individuals or families that are in need but unable to afford the kits.
Thank you for your time in reading my story. I have a few updates and links that I’ll be sharing in coming days. Help Rally for Ryan and put an end to this growing problem!
In loving memory of my son, Ryan,
Lori Lewis
Our Story
Ryan’s substance use started at the end of his junior year. We suspected he was smoking pot. We were right. At that time Ryan entered a 30 day outpatient treatment. He attended school and treatment there during the day. Upon discharge, he returned to school to finish out his junior year. He graduated in 2009 and the next few years were uneventful. It was during an ER visit that we were informed he had benzos and opioids onboard. I also noticed that he was often ill with ‘flu-like’ symptoms in the morning but never put all the pieces together that these were withdrawal symptoms. I would ask him how he could be so ill in the morning and feel better in the afternoon? No one gets better this quickly!
One day Ryan brought his clothes over to wash. I started his wash for him. I went to grab the items out of the wash to put in the dryer and felt something in one of his socks. I pulled out a needle. How could this be? The kid who cried every year with his flu shot until he was 17! How could he be using IV drugs?
We moved Ryan back home and made a visit to the ER. The counselor recommended Inpatient Treatment but there were no beds available in the Twin Cities. No beds!! We brought him home, helped him through his withdrawal symptoms and literally watched him the entire weekend 24 hours a day. During the next year Ryan was in and out of Hazelden four times. When Ryan was in recovery, he and his girlfriend got back together, he was hanging out with his friends again, having fun with his siblings, making music, drawing, painting and laughing. Our Ryan was back. The recovery time was longer but the relapses were more severe. Ryan so very much wanted to get better. I asked him what was so hard and what I could do to help. He said, “Mom the physical and psychological cravings are just unbearable at times.” This was with monthly Vivitrol injections.
During this time all our energy was focused on Ryan, keeping him safe and in recovery. Our other three children lacked our attention. What they did receive was the little bit we had left and most of the time that was not much. We didn’t have the patience for even the smallest of their needs. There were times when I would lie down in bed at the end of the night and ask my husband if the other kids were even home safe in bed. This disease affects the entire family and it’s so very isolating.
In May I suspected Ryan was using again and we confronted him. He’d been slipping on his meetings and did not want to continue attending day treatment. As parents we were at our wits end, exhausted and in need of help for our son. Again he went back into Hazelden. This time we told Ryan what we were doing at home was not working and on the advice of his councilors he’d need to move into a Sober House when he discharged. He was extremely angry and would not talk to us for a week. When he and my husband did talk, Ryan said “Dad am I ever going to get better?” “Yep we’re going to get through this together buddy. We can do it.” On July 7th my husband picked him up from Hazelden and helped move him into the Sober House. He was still very angry with us. On Wednesday I went and picked Ryan up after work, brought him some clothes and we went grocery shopping. We talked about how things were going and made plans for the next day. I gave him a hug and a kiss, told him I loved him and how good he looked.
On Thursday afternoon I received the call from a St. Paul Police Officer. He told me that my son Ryan died of a heroin overdose that morning. I just kept screaming ‘No’ over and over. This is not how this was supposed to be. He was supposed to be at a Sober House in recovery, safe. We were supposed to work through this.
As parents we feel that we have failed. We could not protect Ryan. The face of addiction has changed. It can be any one of us. No longer can we say “This will never happen to me” as it can and it does. No one chooses to become addicted. The person chooses to use that first time. The drug then chooses them.
My goal is to continue to raise awareness on all fronts; provider education and Suboxone training, healthcare coverage for long-term treatment, naloxone in Sober Houses and kits to dispense in ERs for those patients of overdose. I have also partnered with Adult & Teen Challenge, Washington and Ramsey counties sharing Ryan’s story at public forums to bring awareness to communities in hopes that we can make change happen and break the stigma so individuals and families can reach out and get the help they so desperately need!!
This brief period of my son’s life was not what defined him. Ryan will always be remembered as the funny, talented, creative soul that he was and he would have done great things.
In loving memory of my son, Ryan,
Lori Lewis
Ryan was the oldest of our 4 children. In the 23 years he lived on this earth, he was outgoing, intelligent, artistic, creative, energetic, had a goofy sense of humor, and a passion for music. Ryan excelled in music, art and photography and was most content when playing guitar, painting, drawing or taking pictures. He was so much fun to be around! I miss him every day. Every minute. Every second!
The number of drug-related deaths is rising in the United States. Each year, more people are dying from overdoses than car accidents, and more than half of overdoses involve opioids, such as heroin and prescription painkillers.
One in three families is affected by the disease of addiction. Addiction has no face; its victims may be your neighbors, your teammates, your friends. Many become addicted from a physician’s prescription; others from one poor choice. Addiction recovery programs are too few and ineffective, while stigmas and pharmaceutical profitability impede reform.
Why do I continue this fight? For my son. And, for the many changes that must happen across our healthcare/insurance system as a whole. The treatment process that ‘one size’ fits all and the inadequate funding and resources needs to change!
For the mom’s out there that are going through or have gone through this pain, hurt, worry, stress, isolation and complete unmanageability in their lives and who ask themselves daily “what did I do wrong?”, I say to you, there is nothing you could have done. I am still struggling with this one. Know that you are not alone and you need support. Reach out. There are many of us here.
With the help of my friends, family, and those who are wanting to join the campaign, I will be able to support my mission, and that is, to continue to raise awareness regarding addiction and treatments available. My goal is to attend the Fed Up (Opioid Prescription Overdose) Rally in Washington DC and become a Recovery Coach.
My Go Fund Me page will help cover costs for:
- Travel expenses to attend the Fed up Rally in Washington D.C. on September 18th.
- Training from October 31st – November 4th to become a Recovery Coach so I have the tools and knowledge to support other families experiencing addiction, or grief and loss as a result of its devastating effects.
- Purchasing Naloxone kits to distribute to those individuals or families that are in need but unable to afford the kits.
Thank you for your time in reading my story. I have a few updates and links that I’ll be sharing in coming days. Help Rally for Ryan and put an end to this growing problem!
In loving memory of my son, Ryan,
Lori Lewis
Our Story
Ryan’s substance use started at the end of his junior year. We suspected he was smoking pot. We were right. At that time Ryan entered a 30 day outpatient treatment. He attended school and treatment there during the day. Upon discharge, he returned to school to finish out his junior year. He graduated in 2009 and the next few years were uneventful. It was during an ER visit that we were informed he had benzos and opioids onboard. I also noticed that he was often ill with ‘flu-like’ symptoms in the morning but never put all the pieces together that these were withdrawal symptoms. I would ask him how he could be so ill in the morning and feel better in the afternoon? No one gets better this quickly!
One day Ryan brought his clothes over to wash. I started his wash for him. I went to grab the items out of the wash to put in the dryer and felt something in one of his socks. I pulled out a needle. How could this be? The kid who cried every year with his flu shot until he was 17! How could he be using IV drugs?
We moved Ryan back home and made a visit to the ER. The counselor recommended Inpatient Treatment but there were no beds available in the Twin Cities. No beds!! We brought him home, helped him through his withdrawal symptoms and literally watched him the entire weekend 24 hours a day. During the next year Ryan was in and out of Hazelden four times. When Ryan was in recovery, he and his girlfriend got back together, he was hanging out with his friends again, having fun with his siblings, making music, drawing, painting and laughing. Our Ryan was back. The recovery time was longer but the relapses were more severe. Ryan so very much wanted to get better. I asked him what was so hard and what I could do to help. He said, “Mom the physical and psychological cravings are just unbearable at times.” This was with monthly Vivitrol injections.
During this time all our energy was focused on Ryan, keeping him safe and in recovery. Our other three children lacked our attention. What they did receive was the little bit we had left and most of the time that was not much. We didn’t have the patience for even the smallest of their needs. There were times when I would lie down in bed at the end of the night and ask my husband if the other kids were even home safe in bed. This disease affects the entire family and it’s so very isolating.
In May I suspected Ryan was using again and we confronted him. He’d been slipping on his meetings and did not want to continue attending day treatment. As parents we were at our wits end, exhausted and in need of help for our son. Again he went back into Hazelden. This time we told Ryan what we were doing at home was not working and on the advice of his councilors he’d need to move into a Sober House when he discharged. He was extremely angry and would not talk to us for a week. When he and my husband did talk, Ryan said “Dad am I ever going to get better?” “Yep we’re going to get through this together buddy. We can do it.” On July 7th my husband picked him up from Hazelden and helped move him into the Sober House. He was still very angry with us. On Wednesday I went and picked Ryan up after work, brought him some clothes and we went grocery shopping. We talked about how things were going and made plans for the next day. I gave him a hug and a kiss, told him I loved him and how good he looked.
On Thursday afternoon I received the call from a St. Paul Police Officer. He told me that my son Ryan died of a heroin overdose that morning. I just kept screaming ‘No’ over and over. This is not how this was supposed to be. He was supposed to be at a Sober House in recovery, safe. We were supposed to work through this.
As parents we feel that we have failed. We could not protect Ryan. The face of addiction has changed. It can be any one of us. No longer can we say “This will never happen to me” as it can and it does. No one chooses to become addicted. The person chooses to use that first time. The drug then chooses them.
My goal is to continue to raise awareness on all fronts; provider education and Suboxone training, healthcare coverage for long-term treatment, naloxone in Sober Houses and kits to dispense in ERs for those patients of overdose. I have also partnered with Adult & Teen Challenge, Washington and Ramsey counties sharing Ryan’s story at public forums to bring awareness to communities in hopes that we can make change happen and break the stigma so individuals and families can reach out and get the help they so desperately need!!
This brief period of my son’s life was not what defined him. Ryan will always be remembered as the funny, talented, creative soul that he was and he would have done great things.
In loving memory of my son, Ryan,
Lori Lewis
Organizer
Lori Baumgartner Lewis
Organizer
Oakdale, MN