Walk for AnaBella

WHAT HAPPENED

On the 21st of April 2018 baby AnaBella was born: small but perfectly formed and ready for a fight.

She entered this world early but with eyes wide open and arms flailing. 

What she wasn't ready for was the challenges of NICU. On the 19th of May 2018, AnaBella, our beautiful baby girl, died.

Dreams were shattered, illusions broken, tears wept.

This had the potential to break my family, to break me and it nearly did.

We experienced the most brutal form of grief, the type of grief that should never be, the type of grief people don't want to acknowledge because to acknowledge is to admit there is no order. To admit there is no guarantee on our children's lives, our babies can die.

As a man, as a father I lost my way, I lost my cape. I could never tell my family that everything was going to alright ever again. Because it wasn't.

During AnaBella's time here I was allowed one hug, the rest of the time all I could do was to stand helpless at the side of a plastic box.



SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

My 2020 challenge was canceled due to covid here is the updated challenge for 2021

Last year I was going to walk 500 miles in 28 days (this being how many days AnaBella lived for) that was canceled.

This year I am going to run 28 Marathons in 28 Days along the South West Coast Path and back up to my home in Frome. So 734 miles ins 28 days.

As before I am going to film my journey and share my story in the hope that it may help someone else.

I'm also reaching out to others: if you are experiencing grief and would like to join me on one of the days please reach out to me.

WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING TO GO

We were helped by some pretty amazing charities so I want to give back to both The Grand Appeal  in Bristol who provided us with accommodation to be as close to AnaBella as possible and to Cruse Bereavement whose counseling services after the event helped save our family.

I am also starting work on a project called 'A Fathers Grief' which is to collect stories from men who have gone through similar situations and are surviving. Some of this money will go towards collating and publishing these stories.

As a man, I found I was expected to just get on with it and deal with it myself. I don't think this is right,  we need to be strong but we also need some help being strong for ourselves and our family. As I say to my family "We are stronger together" and these stories will help others no they are not alone.