You Too Can Power Our Marriage

Listen, we don't really need or want gifts, but enough of you have expressed anger at our lack of a registry that we've created a gofundme. 

Any donations are not expected whatsoever, but they will be greatly appreciated. All funds will likely be funneled into home renovations. And as a token of our gratitude we will engrave/carve or somehow permanently adorn whatever item your money funds with your name. We're all about proper credit. 

So if you give us $25, maybe we'll carve your name into a drawer handle. If you give us $50,000, we'll name the kitchen after you or something. $250,000, and you get to name the first kid. It's literally all for sale. Everything's gotta go. 

OK thanks!
Shoko & Keiji