This is Zack's Story
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I don’t blog on a regular basis and I sure haven’t blogged in quite some time. But today I have something to say and my friends and family just don’t think facebook is the best place for my posting. So here I am. I have so many swirling thoughts in my head right now, and I will do my best to keep them from seeming like I have released a truck load of squirrels and decided to chase each one for a few seconds before realizing I am not focused on the truck and choose to chase another one. I think that you should know about Zack.
So this is Zack’s story:
From the day I was born, people said I would never be anything since I had no money and no good influence. I proved them wrong. I earned my Eagle Scout badge. I was voted NHS President. I became a DeMolay Junior Counselor, an NJROTC Administrative Department Head and LTJG. I am President of the Class of 2019 Student Government and a Special Olympics Coach. I have participated in National Youth Leadership Training through Rotary International. The Longest Table, was selected to Boys State, recently chosen to be on the 2018 Homecoming Court and many more accomplished leadership programs. I also have over 2300 community service hours; more than any student to ever attend Wakulla High School. That’s good for a kid who was born destined to fail.
I was born destined to fail. When I was conceived both my biological parents were captured in a world of substance abuse. My mother hated my father and this led me to never even meeting my Dad. While I was young, there were a series of in-and-out boyfriends or just random men. After a time of her inability to control herself, we moved in with my Papa who was pushing 60 years old, but still working from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. working as many construction jobs as he could just to make ends meet. Then my Nana who worked in accounting for a car dealership half of her life, but never got a promotion because she, just like Papa was a high school dropout with no other education. My mother didn’t seem to care, she just needed a place to stay and I was a burden. Once there with my grandparents, life should have gotten better. However, my grandparents could not afford daycare at the time. So I was put in a school program at the local elementary school. I was at school from before 7 a.m. to sometimes after 6 p.m. Since they were unable to afford daycare and my mother was no longer around...I’m not really sure when she was gone, but she just was…they enrolled me in kindergarten a year early. I was doing fine academically, so they promoted me to the first grade, but I was not maturing as fast, so it was decided to hold me back to repeat the first grade. I was in the first grade (for the second time) and now struggled with my left eye. I wore an eye patch. (Yes, like a pirate.) You might think “how fun” for a young kid, but it was hard being a pirate and playing on the playground. Soon after, I know my mom went to jail for theft. I feel certain it was in order to buy more drugs. While in jail she snapped her ankle in two – one-bone sticking one way, her ankle the opposite way. Due to the extent of her injury the system let her out of jail. Her doctor then put her on pain medication. She took it continuously and eventually she overdosed and wanted more. The doctors said no and her supply of prescription opioids ended. Being an addict she “had to have them”. She forged prescription and eventually got caught. She was sentenced to five years in prison. Real prison four hours away.
Once again, absent from my life and my only legal guardian now gone, Child Protective Services came to pull me away from my family. I remember my Nana telling me if that there was a chance, my grandparents would take me. But I had to go now. She said I would be back with them soon, but I was a kid and time is hard to understand. I remember this day specifically because in the news everyone was talking about how Michael Jackson bleached himself. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works and what things you remember or focus on in crisis. I told my friends goodbye. I was scared out of my mind. I literally had no idea what was happening to me. I thank God, was my grandparents were able to take me. I actually went to a prison and visited my mom twice a year while she was incarcerated. I didn’t understand what was happening around me, but I knew that other kids were not living the same kind of crazy life I was.
When I moved from elementary school into middle school, I started getting chubby, and girls picked on me constantly about my weight. I knew what being bullied was like. However, I am resilient. A life like mine required it. Being overweight led me to venture out and find a new friend group. We were definitely a group of chubby nerds. In the 7th grade, I realized I had a dream for my life. But I discovered that my dream of becoming a football coach would never come true if I did not play football. So, my chubby buddy, Wade and I practiced for months and months at his house. We were finally getting pretty good, but then my life got flipped upside- down again, literally, physically and emotionally.
Nana was having surgery in February, so while she and Papa were at the hospital for a couple of days, I stayed at Wade's house to work on a group school project. As middle school boys do, we soon got bored, so we decided to go racing around on his 4x4 ATV. Unfortunately, I rounded a hill too sharply, fell out, and the roll cage of the ATV landed on me, pinning me beneath and crushed my foot. I screamed for Wade to get it off. The football workouts must have helped, because he was able to free me and help me get back to the house. His mom, Ms. Nancy, cautiously took my foot out of my shoe and told me she believed my foot was broken.
I was in denial. No way, not possible. But then, I had never broken a bone before. It looked like I had gangrene; my whole foot was black and numb. They rushed me to the hospital; the same one Nana was in. Therefore, while I was on the first floor getting checked out, Nana was a couple of floors up having surgery. During this time, Papa was completely falling apart. Now he would have to take care of two injured humans. As it turned out, I broke all of my toes. They told me my bones looked like dust. All the nerves in my left foot worked very poorly, and while my bones were healing; they did not tape my toes together as they were supposed to, so I have problems with my toes now and always will.
If not to add insult to injury, we did not have health insurance. We had to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket. Since we did not have the money, we took a mortgage out on the house. When we could not pay it back, because of me, we lost our home and were forced to move into an old trailer. The guilt I feel is still palpable. I constantly see the sadness in Papa’s eyes as we left our home and drove away.
We moved right before my 8th-grade year. During this whole time, I had attempted to be in the band, but was bullied in a band, by this horrible kid who hated me. So, I quit the band. I did not know how to cope with all the hurt and anger I was feeling. In the spring of my 8th grade year, I practiced for football again and somehow made it through. Then, summer between 8th and 9th grade came and so did the decision. I had been wrestling with practicing football for months due to the pain I was experiencing with each day of drills. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to play and had to quit. The doctors had already told me that playing was a very bad idea and that any other severe injury could potentially result in the loss of my left foot.
I gave up the one thing I had ever truly loved.
Side note - Also, during the 8th grade, I was in intensive reading with Mrs. Davis. I did not think I should have been in the class, but I was. It was a class for kids who needed help in reading and all my friends made fun of me for being in the class. As a matter of fact, I knew I should not have been in that class. I found it pointless.
Once I got to high school, I found a force inside me that was tired of losing things I loved. So, I pushed back. I joined Boy Scouts, National Jr. ROTC, DeMolay, National Honor Society, Student Government, WHTAR Political Group, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, TRIO, became an intern for special needs students and also took many honors classes. After school, I volunteered in my community. I was no longer going to be ashamed of who I was and I would take control of my life.
At the beginning of my 10th grade year, I talked to Coach Klees, the Wakulla High School Head Football Coach, about being an intern coach, and he sent me to talk to Coach Higgins. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. In just an instant, I became the Athletic Trainer/Equipment Manager, Water boy, Laundry Washer, occasional Janitor and any dirty job that needed to be done was now mine. At first, it was like hell on earth. But I loved it and it loved me back.
I was bullied by everyone at school for being a “quitter.” See they only knew the Zack that quit football. They called me names and told me I was never going never to be a coach. The job was much harder than one would imagine. It turns out there is a lot to learn about being an Athletic Trainer and even a “water boy”. Every single job has different techniques to learn. This has made me a humbler man and taught me to respect everyone’s job even if people think it is not essential.
It was about the middle of football season when things started to change. Most students go out to the field for community service hours, do a poor job, and then leave. But my players could see I was different and was going to stay. For that, they began to respect me. Earning their respect opened up a whole world. I learned so much about the game of football. How the game is run, plays and coverage’s that it felt like a family by the end of the season. We lost in the first round of the playoffs, but at this point it didn’t even matter, I knew I wanted to be a football coach.
All the hell I’ve gone through makes me love it even more.
Over the years, when the bullying got worse, and my life and family at home seemed to be broken and empty, I kept on keeping on. I got closer to the people, and with each new day I have felt more love and more family than ever before. Looking back, I have learned so much from this life I have lived in only 18 young years.
As I prepare for the next phase of my life and future, I am thinking about why God would make me go through of all of this. Moving into my grandparent’s house – they have become the most significant and supportive people in my life. Being enrolled into the Before and After school program was a life-changing experience which helped build my character. Being held back kept me out of jail because all the friends I had then are now in dangerous places. My mom going to prison eventually helped her turn her life around. She became a Christian and she brought me to Christ. She found a job at Sonny’s BBQ. All the girls that bullied me for being fat now want to be my friends. You remember all those chubby nerds I hung out with after I got fat. We are still best friends to this day. Breaking my foot and having to move made my little family come together and become closer. You know that teacher, Ms. Davis, that taught me intensive reading? She is my most significant mentor and is helping me find a way to go to college to pursue my dream. You remember that kid that bullied me out of the band, he is now in DeMolay with me and is one of my good friends. All these events helped develop my character and made me the person I am today!
From the day I was born, people said I would never be anything since I had no money and no good influence. I proved them wrong. So, yes, that’s good for a kid who was born destined to fail.
For those of you who stuck it out and read Zack’s story, now I can tell you why I feel the need to blog. I have to get Zack into West Virginia University. No, Zack has been accepted into West Virginia University. I have to help Zack find $40,000 to be able to go to West Virginia University at the end of this school year to begin working towards a prestigious degree from a prestigious university so that he may realize his dream.
I am a teacher. I am a mentor. I am an advocate and I have no choice but to do whatever it takes to make this happen for Zack. Zack needs money. Money I don’t have, but would give him in a heartbeat, if I did. I need to win the lottery, so I can send all of my children to college… But that’s not realistic. So what is? Zack has a 3.89 GPA, amazing resume, unbelievable story of enduring resiliency, but doesn’t have the ACT/SAT score to get an academic scholarship. See you think that because there are programs available to send all high school seniors that truly “want” to go to college the opportunity. It is not so. There are criteria and for most kids the standards that must be met to receive such funding for college only comes easily to students who have been afforded many life experiences, have parents with degrees and money to take an ACT/SAT prep class or pay for taking the test multiple times until they get the score they both want and need. But, your better than average, all-around great kid with so much potential, still doesn’t measure up for a dime.
Zack is capable. Zack is intrinsically motivated. Zack will not party, play hard, fail or drop out. It is not in him to let himself down. He will become. With or without me, he will become. I just want to give him the best chance at becoming his best self as soon as possible.
Then I turn on the news, look at social media or talk to any other adult and realize just how misplaced our priorities are in society today. There is so much money. The “this” party, the “that” organization, the “this” group, the “that” society. Each thinking that they are the answer. I have the answer. The answer is Zack. The answer is Elizabeth. The answer is Jamey. The answer is Julianna. The answer is Charlie. The answer is Brooke. And no one has to go looking for these answers. I can tell you exactly where to find them.
So this is Zack’s story:
From the day I was born, people said I would never be anything since I had no money and no good influence. I proved them wrong. I earned my Eagle Scout badge. I was voted NHS President. I became a DeMolay Junior Counselor, an NJROTC Administrative Department Head and LTJG. I am President of the Class of 2019 Student Government and a Special Olympics Coach. I have participated in National Youth Leadership Training through Rotary International. The Longest Table, was selected to Boys State, recently chosen to be on the 2018 Homecoming Court and many more accomplished leadership programs. I also have over 2300 community service hours; more than any student to ever attend Wakulla High School. That’s good for a kid who was born destined to fail.
I was born destined to fail. When I was conceived both my biological parents were captured in a world of substance abuse. My mother hated my father and this led me to never even meeting my Dad. While I was young, there were a series of in-and-out boyfriends or just random men. After a time of her inability to control herself, we moved in with my Papa who was pushing 60 years old, but still working from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. working as many construction jobs as he could just to make ends meet. Then my Nana who worked in accounting for a car dealership half of her life, but never got a promotion because she, just like Papa was a high school dropout with no other education. My mother didn’t seem to care, she just needed a place to stay and I was a burden. Once there with my grandparents, life should have gotten better. However, my grandparents could not afford daycare at the time. So I was put in a school program at the local elementary school. I was at school from before 7 a.m. to sometimes after 6 p.m. Since they were unable to afford daycare and my mother was no longer around...I’m not really sure when she was gone, but she just was…they enrolled me in kindergarten a year early. I was doing fine academically, so they promoted me to the first grade, but I was not maturing as fast, so it was decided to hold me back to repeat the first grade. I was in the first grade (for the second time) and now struggled with my left eye. I wore an eye patch. (Yes, like a pirate.) You might think “how fun” for a young kid, but it was hard being a pirate and playing on the playground. Soon after, I know my mom went to jail for theft. I feel certain it was in order to buy more drugs. While in jail she snapped her ankle in two – one-bone sticking one way, her ankle the opposite way. Due to the extent of her injury the system let her out of jail. Her doctor then put her on pain medication. She took it continuously and eventually she overdosed and wanted more. The doctors said no and her supply of prescription opioids ended. Being an addict she “had to have them”. She forged prescription and eventually got caught. She was sentenced to five years in prison. Real prison four hours away.
Once again, absent from my life and my only legal guardian now gone, Child Protective Services came to pull me away from my family. I remember my Nana telling me if that there was a chance, my grandparents would take me. But I had to go now. She said I would be back with them soon, but I was a kid and time is hard to understand. I remember this day specifically because in the news everyone was talking about how Michael Jackson bleached himself. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works and what things you remember or focus on in crisis. I told my friends goodbye. I was scared out of my mind. I literally had no idea what was happening to me. I thank God, was my grandparents were able to take me. I actually went to a prison and visited my mom twice a year while she was incarcerated. I didn’t understand what was happening around me, but I knew that other kids were not living the same kind of crazy life I was.
When I moved from elementary school into middle school, I started getting chubby, and girls picked on me constantly about my weight. I knew what being bullied was like. However, I am resilient. A life like mine required it. Being overweight led me to venture out and find a new friend group. We were definitely a group of chubby nerds. In the 7th grade, I realized I had a dream for my life. But I discovered that my dream of becoming a football coach would never come true if I did not play football. So, my chubby buddy, Wade and I practiced for months and months at his house. We were finally getting pretty good, but then my life got flipped upside- down again, literally, physically and emotionally.
Nana was having surgery in February, so while she and Papa were at the hospital for a couple of days, I stayed at Wade's house to work on a group school project. As middle school boys do, we soon got bored, so we decided to go racing around on his 4x4 ATV. Unfortunately, I rounded a hill too sharply, fell out, and the roll cage of the ATV landed on me, pinning me beneath and crushed my foot. I screamed for Wade to get it off. The football workouts must have helped, because he was able to free me and help me get back to the house. His mom, Ms. Nancy, cautiously took my foot out of my shoe and told me she believed my foot was broken.
I was in denial. No way, not possible. But then, I had never broken a bone before. It looked like I had gangrene; my whole foot was black and numb. They rushed me to the hospital; the same one Nana was in. Therefore, while I was on the first floor getting checked out, Nana was a couple of floors up having surgery. During this time, Papa was completely falling apart. Now he would have to take care of two injured humans. As it turned out, I broke all of my toes. They told me my bones looked like dust. All the nerves in my left foot worked very poorly, and while my bones were healing; they did not tape my toes together as they were supposed to, so I have problems with my toes now and always will.
If not to add insult to injury, we did not have health insurance. We had to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket. Since we did not have the money, we took a mortgage out on the house. When we could not pay it back, because of me, we lost our home and were forced to move into an old trailer. The guilt I feel is still palpable. I constantly see the sadness in Papa’s eyes as we left our home and drove away.
We moved right before my 8th-grade year. During this whole time, I had attempted to be in the band, but was bullied in a band, by this horrible kid who hated me. So, I quit the band. I did not know how to cope with all the hurt and anger I was feeling. In the spring of my 8th grade year, I practiced for football again and somehow made it through. Then, summer between 8th and 9th grade came and so did the decision. I had been wrestling with practicing football for months due to the pain I was experiencing with each day of drills. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to play and had to quit. The doctors had already told me that playing was a very bad idea and that any other severe injury could potentially result in the loss of my left foot.
I gave up the one thing I had ever truly loved.
Side note - Also, during the 8th grade, I was in intensive reading with Mrs. Davis. I did not think I should have been in the class, but I was. It was a class for kids who needed help in reading and all my friends made fun of me for being in the class. As a matter of fact, I knew I should not have been in that class. I found it pointless.
Once I got to high school, I found a force inside me that was tired of losing things I loved. So, I pushed back. I joined Boy Scouts, National Jr. ROTC, DeMolay, National Honor Society, Student Government, WHTAR Political Group, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, TRIO, became an intern for special needs students and also took many honors classes. After school, I volunteered in my community. I was no longer going to be ashamed of who I was and I would take control of my life.
At the beginning of my 10th grade year, I talked to Coach Klees, the Wakulla High School Head Football Coach, about being an intern coach, and he sent me to talk to Coach Higgins. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. In just an instant, I became the Athletic Trainer/Equipment Manager, Water boy, Laundry Washer, occasional Janitor and any dirty job that needed to be done was now mine. At first, it was like hell on earth. But I loved it and it loved me back.
I was bullied by everyone at school for being a “quitter.” See they only knew the Zack that quit football. They called me names and told me I was never going never to be a coach. The job was much harder than one would imagine. It turns out there is a lot to learn about being an Athletic Trainer and even a “water boy”. Every single job has different techniques to learn. This has made me a humbler man and taught me to respect everyone’s job even if people think it is not essential.
It was about the middle of football season when things started to change. Most students go out to the field for community service hours, do a poor job, and then leave. But my players could see I was different and was going to stay. For that, they began to respect me. Earning their respect opened up a whole world. I learned so much about the game of football. How the game is run, plays and coverage’s that it felt like a family by the end of the season. We lost in the first round of the playoffs, but at this point it didn’t even matter, I knew I wanted to be a football coach.
All the hell I’ve gone through makes me love it even more.
Over the years, when the bullying got worse, and my life and family at home seemed to be broken and empty, I kept on keeping on. I got closer to the people, and with each new day I have felt more love and more family than ever before. Looking back, I have learned so much from this life I have lived in only 18 young years.
As I prepare for the next phase of my life and future, I am thinking about why God would make me go through of all of this. Moving into my grandparent’s house – they have become the most significant and supportive people in my life. Being enrolled into the Before and After school program was a life-changing experience which helped build my character. Being held back kept me out of jail because all the friends I had then are now in dangerous places. My mom going to prison eventually helped her turn her life around. She became a Christian and she brought me to Christ. She found a job at Sonny’s BBQ. All the girls that bullied me for being fat now want to be my friends. You remember all those chubby nerds I hung out with after I got fat. We are still best friends to this day. Breaking my foot and having to move made my little family come together and become closer. You know that teacher, Ms. Davis, that taught me intensive reading? She is my most significant mentor and is helping me find a way to go to college to pursue my dream. You remember that kid that bullied me out of the band, he is now in DeMolay with me and is one of my good friends. All these events helped develop my character and made me the person I am today!
From the day I was born, people said I would never be anything since I had no money and no good influence. I proved them wrong. So, yes, that’s good for a kid who was born destined to fail.
For those of you who stuck it out and read Zack’s story, now I can tell you why I feel the need to blog. I have to get Zack into West Virginia University. No, Zack has been accepted into West Virginia University. I have to help Zack find $40,000 to be able to go to West Virginia University at the end of this school year to begin working towards a prestigious degree from a prestigious university so that he may realize his dream.
I am a teacher. I am a mentor. I am an advocate and I have no choice but to do whatever it takes to make this happen for Zack. Zack needs money. Money I don’t have, but would give him in a heartbeat, if I did. I need to win the lottery, so I can send all of my children to college… But that’s not realistic. So what is? Zack has a 3.89 GPA, amazing resume, unbelievable story of enduring resiliency, but doesn’t have the ACT/SAT score to get an academic scholarship. See you think that because there are programs available to send all high school seniors that truly “want” to go to college the opportunity. It is not so. There are criteria and for most kids the standards that must be met to receive such funding for college only comes easily to students who have been afforded many life experiences, have parents with degrees and money to take an ACT/SAT prep class or pay for taking the test multiple times until they get the score they both want and need. But, your better than average, all-around great kid with so much potential, still doesn’t measure up for a dime.
Zack is capable. Zack is intrinsically motivated. Zack will not party, play hard, fail or drop out. It is not in him to let himself down. He will become. With or without me, he will become. I just want to give him the best chance at becoming his best self as soon as possible.
Then I turn on the news, look at social media or talk to any other adult and realize just how misplaced our priorities are in society today. There is so much money. The “this” party, the “that” organization, the “this” group, the “that” society. Each thinking that they are the answer. I have the answer. The answer is Zack. The answer is Elizabeth. The answer is Jamey. The answer is Julianna. The answer is Charlie. The answer is Brooke. And no one has to go looking for these answers. I can tell you exactly where to find them.
Organizer
Lari N Phil Davis
Organizer
Crawfordville, FL