Reality Ministries

"Girl, no one makes a dressing like me," said Bonnie,  pointing my direction with her sassy smile. "I'm telling you, it's the best." It is the best! That summer day, for over 2 hours, Bonnie and I sat on the picnic bench under the old oak tree planting a bunch of sunflower and zinnia seeds that would soon grace the tables at the Reality Cafe. We spent those hours delighting in each other's presence, laughing, and celebrating the small gifts of life. Bonnie is one of the many friends I have been blessed by at Reality Ministries , a community which fosters relationships among people of all abilities.

This community was one of the first gems I discovered when moving back to NC. Never before had I experienced the kind of welcome I received when I walked through its’ doors. The joy, delight, warmth, and welcome were captivating and contagious. This community felt like a hidden gem that everybody needed to know about and I wanted to experience more.

Within a few years, I began volunteering in the Reality kitchen cooking meals for day time programming. It was by far one of the highlights to my week and became an integral part of diving deeper into the heart of the community. I gave dozens of high fives, received dozens of hugs, and held the most beautiful and blessed conversations in those years of cooking and eating with my friends. For the last 4 years,  I've been involved in the development of the Reality Farm, where relationships continue to be cultivated and purposeful and meaningful work is had, where difference in limitation and ability is seen as a gift. Every week, the Reality participants come out to grow vegetables, herbs and flowers that provide beauty and nourishment for the larger Reality community.  Harvest days are a sight to behold!


The relationships I’ve formed at Reality Ministries have been transformative. I’ve learned the gift of mutuality that friendship offers with people of varying abilities and these relationships have been vital to my own flourishing and healing. I’ve laughed with my Reality friends around the dinner table, harvested tomatoes with the Reality farm crew, and danced with a freedom that I had never imagined possible.



At Reality Ministries, you get to bear witness to the precious and holy truth that you are enough, JUST AS YOU ARE. There is invitation and welcome around every turn and an imagination for how to live differently together in community. It is a place where individuals with and without disabilities share the simple and messy moments of life together. Moments marked by mutuality, authenticity and the reality of God's love for all.

I have been served on the Board of Directors at Reality for the past 4 years. Reality needs to raise much-needed funds to help ensure our doors can reopen once it's safe to do so. Many people with disabilities are more susceptible than most to particular medical risks, and, at the same time, are more likely to experience isolation and loneliness. Our doors have been closed since March, and while Zoom meetings and phone calls sure lift our spirits, many of our friends are really feeling the brunt of the COVID impact. 

Will you join me in donating to the mission that has captivated my spirit?  To help make your donation even sweeter, we, as a Board, have agreed to match all donations that come in up to $71,000 through June 30th. No gift is too small!

Thank you.

Friends,

Many of you have likely heard of, or have even been fortunate enough to meet the greatness that is Bonnie Sue. Perhaps you've been wondering how this legendary woman's and my paths crossed.

Bonnie is one of my best friends. She is loyal, persistent, hilarious, generous, reassuring, loving, wise, tender, sassy, and speaks the best Spanglish of anyone I know. To know her is to love her, and to constantly pee your pants laughing. Every morning (literally, every morning), I receive a phone call around 8am sharp. She's usually demanding that I "get my skinny *exploitive* out of the bed" (never mind that I am already well on my way to meetings and conference calls abundant), but it's one of her favorite "cranks" to pull on me, and it's my favorite way to start my day.

When together, B and I love to peruse the Durham Farmer's Market hand-in-hand while I encourage her negotiating skills as she haggles with the local farmers for free sausage and vegetables. We drink champagne when a celebration is in store. We live for our brunch dates at Foster's Market. We laugh with and love on the rest of the Corner House crew (Tony, Ms. T, Erin, Greg, Janice, Joyana, Eli and Lee - Bonnie's amazing friends with whom she lives and who have become her family). Last July, B  joined me on a trip to my hometown of Omaha, NE - the "vacation of a lifetime," she says - where my entire family fell in love with her and airport strangers and passersby got to witness our unique friendship. People see us and often assume that I care for her, but they have no idea the ways she cares for me. She has walked with me through my most difficult seasons and has championed my victories. Her persistent pursuit of connection and relationship with me astounds me. Most days, I hardly feel deserving of a friend like her.

An organization called Reality Ministries brought us together. Reality is a local nonprofit in Durham, NC, and is a place for people with and without disabilities to simply coexist; to do life together, to bridge the gap between "us vs. them," and to love and be loved without bounds. At Reality, we believe in the power and meaning of relationships. Sometimes it's messy, as is life. But at Reality, people of all colors, sizes, genders, backgrounds and abilities are living together, side-by-side in community with one another. It's a rare gift, and is the way I believe we were always meant to live. 

Reality needs to raise much-needed funds to help ensure our doors can reopen once it's safe to do so, so that our incredible friends can again experience the heart of connection and belonging. Many people with disabilities are more susceptible than most to particular medical risks, and, at the same time, are more likely to experience isolation and loneliness. Our doors have been closed since March, and while Zoom meetings, phone calls and drive-bys sure lift our spirits, many of our friends are really feeling the brunt of the COVID impact. Will you join me in donating to the mission that has captivated my heart to help support Bonnie and the rest of our friends at Reality? It would mean the world to us. To help make your donation even sweeter, we, as a Board, have agreed to match all donations that come in up to $71,000 through June 30. 

With ALL our love,

Michelle and Queen B

Reality Ministries is an organization that fosters friendships among among people with and without disabilities. 7 years ago, I brought a new friend to a Reality Ministries gathering for the first time. We spent the evening eating, talking and singing in a crowded noisy church fellowship hall. As we left, I casually asked what she thought. She sputtered, "What is this? Who... who's who in there?" She tried to voice her expectation that she would at least know who the people with disabilities were and who the helpers were. "But I couldn't tell who was who!"

That mutuality is the heart of Reality Ministries. We hold weekly large and small groups, summer camps, host special events and run an incredible farm. Relationships at Reality are marked by mutuality, authenticity and the reality of God's love for us all.  When I first started volunteering a decade ago, I quickly discovered that here I could be fully myself. It didn't matter if I laughed super loud, or forgot someone's name, or danced silly when everyone was looking. All my quirks were welcomed. You come as you are, to love and be loved. Nothing was normative, except acceptance.

I understood God’s unconditional love in a new way after my three little boys were born. As they grew, I began to see that they did not fit the mold, that their strengths and struggles and superpowers didn’t map with what I read in my baby books. After several years of sadness and confusion, we received needed diagnoses that helped me see my boys with clearer eyes.  But I had already learned from Reality that a diagnosis does not define a person's rich humanity. And that in our family I don't want anything to be normative, except acceptance. My boys came as they are, to love and be loved.


In 2014, we moved our family into the North Street community , an intentional residential community created by Reality Ministries. We live together with other neighbors of all abilities in supportive relationship with one another. My neighbor Tommy, pictured laughing with my boys below, loves to carry my groceries in for me when I am herding toddlers and taming tantrums. For a time (probably during sleepless nights with some struggling child), I regularly forgot my keys in the door. Tommy would check every time he walked by to be sure those keys were brought safely inside.

In this community, I regularly witness the kind of beautiful mutuality that I believe we are all made for.  Reality Ministries is transforming the world by teaching us all the power of self-acceptance. We all exist with distinct abilities and struggles, and we desperately need one another. In the Reality community, we don't have to earn love or prove worth. This is the world I dream of, the world I will dedicate my life to sharing with all who need it. 

Reality needs to raise much-needed funds to continue to love all our friends in our isolation and to ensure our doors can reopen once it's safe to do so. Many people with disabilities are more susceptible than most to particular medical risks, and, at the same time, are more likely to experience isolation and loneliness. Since our programs shifted online, we've been working harder than ever. We meet in small groups over Zoom. We lead exercise classes, sing-alongs and storytimes over youtube. We call everyone. No one falls through the cracks. For some of our friends, this is the only personal contact they get all week.

Will you join me in donating to this incredibly valuable organization, a mission that has transformed my life and my family? It would mean the world to us. To help make your donation even sweeter, we, as a Board, have agreed to match all donations that come in up to $71,000 through June 30. We're more than half-way there!

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Some photo evidence of our neighborhood and community fun:
Me tap dancing on the stage of the Durham Performing Arts Center (where I saw Hamilton!) with my across the street neighbor Micaiah (2nd picture, middle) at the Reality Ministries annual Talent Show.

You've GOT to watch this video that captures just a bit of the magic of the Talent Show:


Christmas party with the women of North Street: (yes I'm definitely wearing my robe... here, you come as you are!)

James and I receiving a royal welcome on the red carpet at our annual "Kings and Queens dance," and breaking it down on the dance floor (2nd photo below)

Needham Bryan is raising money for Reality Ministries.

Reality Ministries Website 

Needham’s posting is for Reality Ministries in Durham.  All donations are

100% tax deductible. 

Dear Friends,

I’m posting this to raise money for Reality Ministries in Durham. Maybe most of you already know about this amazing organization, but just in case you don’t-- it’s a wonderful and very busy program with all kinds of activities designed for a mix of people with and without developmental disabilities who live around here.  I have been involved in Reality for a little more than three years now. I have met so many great new friends there.  It’s really been one of the best things that I’ve ever been a part of. 

I love going to the weekly meetings, the dinners, the summer camping retreat and hanging out with my new friends.

Recently I have become a board member for Reality Ministries, and it’s in that connection that I’m writing you.  Because of the Corona virus, Reality was not able to stage its annual Talent Show this year.  This was really hard for us because the money raised from donations at the show-usually filled to capacity of 2700+-  brought in funding for our summer programming.  At this point we really need your help to keep up the good work! 

Reality Ministries welcomes people of all colors, all sizes, genders, backgrounds and abilities.  Many of our members are living together, side by side, in a caring  community.  It’s a very special place to live. 

I hope so much that you will make a donation.  I love Reality Ministries, and I hope that you will visit us sometime to see for yourself what it means to me and my friends.

Your friend,

Needham Bryan