Kian is our son. After a textbook perfect pregnancy, at 41 weeks, my husband and I heard the most dreadful words that would change our lives forever - "I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat".
To help future families who find themselves in this unfortunate situation and to prevent these devastating losses, my husband and I would like to raise money and donate 100% of the proceeds to the
Star Legacy Foundation which is a non-profit dedicated to stillbirth research and education. We didn't know this organization existed when Kian died, but are now so glad that it does. It would help us make some sense of Kian's death if the money raised leads to research that saves a child and prevents a family from this devastating tragedy.
If you are able, please consider donating to the Star Legacy Foundation. Every little bit helps. I've included information at the end of our story.
On December 6th, 2019 Kian arrived into the world weighing 7lbs 6.3oz. He had the cutest little chubby cheeks and a button nose. Every single inch of him was pure perfection. But he didn't make any noise, he didn't cry. Our little boy that we had wanted for so badly was gone, just like that, before we could even say hello to him. What was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives transformed into every parents worst nightmare and we were completely heartbroken.
We got to spend approximately 12 hours with Kian, hold him, cuddle him, take prints. I'd do absolutely anything to go back to that time just to hold our sweet boy one more time. When it was time to say goodbye to our son, we told him that he was the most loved little man there ever was and that we will miss him every second of every day of our lives and then we gave him over to our midwife. We never saw him again. The hours, days, weeks and months that have passed since sending our precious boy to the morgue have been extremely difficult and there are no words that can do justice to the loss and pain we feel on an everyday basis.
There wasn't anything anatomically or physiologically wrong with our beautiful Kian - he was supposed to live, but he didn't. We didn’t get a conclusive reason for Kian's death, the autopsy showed a perfectly healthy and fully formed baby boy. There was no cord accident, my placenta looked normal, every single test result was normal. The doctors simply said they don’t know what happened. Not knowing what happened is what is most difficult.
Days after we lost Kian, we wanted to turn our family's tragedy into a positive light, and so we launched a Facebook fundraiser for "Save the Children". We were able to raise $10,908 to save the lives of the children who don't make it to their 5th birthday due to preventable causes such as pneumonia and diarrhea. For every $5, we were able to help a child live past 5 years old. We later learnt that the fundraiser was eligible for a 10 times impact via the global action fund, thus resulting in over $109K raised towards this cause. Our hearts are full of gratitude for everyone that contributed to this fundraiser.
Kian's life was short, but our little boy has already had such a positive impact in this world. To spread kindness in Kian's name and to continue his legacy, I am painting rocks with
#TreasuringKian and hiding them for strangers to find them. If you came here after finding a Kian rock, I hope it brought you some joy.
Thank you for reading.
Love,
Nidhi & Venkat
(Proud mommy and daddy to Kian Venkat Shah)
More information about
Star Legacy Foundation:
Our Mission: The Star Legacy Foundation mission is to increase awareness, support research, education and family advocacy regarding stillbirth.
Our Vision: We believe there is great hope for the future to prevent many stillbirths in the United States and around the world and we intend to bring this hope to light. We envision that through the utilization of technology, education and grassroots efforts, we can empower parents and families to be an advocate for their unborn babies.
guidestar.org/profile/26-0227601
charitynavigator.org/ein/260227601