Elliora, this little light of mine.
If I had to only use one word to describe our daughter, like most parents I think, it would be "bright." Not only because she is smart beyond her years, speaks like a grown-up oftentimes (blessed with the gift of word), she has the most beautiful platinum blonde hair, but mostly because of her spirit. She has the most bright and brave spirit, unwaveringly striving to be independent, fierce within her tenacity for love, learning, and life itself. She gave me fulfillment and purpose in being a father, as I knew she would, but she has done so in such a magnificent way; and now I have to try to be the moon to her sun, reflect her spirit, to be brave for her; because things are about to get really hard for all of us.
It went from a family cough/bug to progressively everyone getting over it, except for Elli. Her brother always fought stuff better. Seemed to have my immune system and Elli was holding onto it a bit... but it turned into a wheeze and hacking cough. Realizing now in hindsight, her low immunity was actually a flag we missed for the cancer. We were assuming she inherited my genetic curse of asthma, and my wife's low immune issues, she likely might have pneumonia, and this is how we find out she has asthma. Man, how wrong that was...
On 8/30, I called my wife out of a staffing to take her into the ER, as the cough was much worse that morning and neb treatments were not helping as they should be. We got an x-ray with a very sizable opaque mass of potential infection, potential liquid, or potential mass of flesh. Being my wife's mother's whole female lineage was plagued and mostly lost to cancer, having seen my mother and grandma personally fight it, and eventually succumb to it, in my grandma's case, even the potential and possibility for it was devastating. Having hope in the opaque factor though, we were instructed to rush her to Children's Hospital, here in Aurora, Colorado, and within 2 days my initial hope that the opacity was liquid or infection was crushed. Our baby has cancer, and the entire mass in her chest is a tumor.
They got a biopsy started, writing this from medical purgatory, as it's also a holiday today, we might not have answers truthfully for another couple or few days.
What we do know: Rhabdomysarcoma; official diagnosis.
the cancer is primarily in her chest, but there is an abnormal "believed to be priliminary" source at the moment, in her glute. The mass in her chest cavity is pressing on her pulmonary artery as well as her right lung, which is mostly collapsed. Little to no movement, still with an O2 at 90-93%, her left lung is compensating with such ferocity, it reflects the essence of her spirit, and one nurse said they "hear the echo from the working lung through the right one not moving, it's so strong."
They will know when the lab test results come back with what conclusive type of cancer, but my baby was put to sleep for the first time, took a sample from the flesh, and has a port in already; ready to rock 'n' roll with radiation...
My wife and I come from the medical field. 10 years each working as a Direct Care Provider for individuals in various group home settings, we've both loved the medical field and helping individuals across all facets of life. This specifically helped me feel SO prepared for children. Changing butts, going through doctor appointments and medical changes, managing medication, managing difficult behavior, managing my own behavior around difficult behavior, passing and learning about medication. We have a decent idea of things to come, but I have never seen a child go through chemotherapy, and so there is still so much unknown and scary for us, as it is for her.
We have a fairly small family. Mostly being just us 4, her little brother Tobias is 2, my wife and I. COVID took my mom before Tobi came to us, I never knew my Dad, and most of the little bit of my late mother's family has been deceased as well. We have some closer family in Nebraska but generally distance separates us. Most of the whole journey of parenting has mostly been lonesome for us, physically speaking. Mainly connecting through many friends, and online with many people (mostly speaking for myself) but generally we've not spent holidays or birthdays much with anyone outside of our small little four-member team. Albeit, the grandparents took Tobi for us, to stay out in Nebraska. It is our first time away from either of our children. As we organized our life and such so we never needed childcare. This gives us proper time to facilitate what we NEED, while still processing and awaiting prognosis/proper and full diagnosis, and the war on her cancer that is to come, soon.
After a couple months of chemo, and the meds for side effects..
Somehow, the mass in her chest, disappeared.. off of Xray. God bless everyone who has helped/prayers are seeming to be answered. We'll know more soon to come for treatment plan, speaking to specialists more and re-scans and simulation; to come, soon!