Support a Family's Fight for Peace and Stability

I’m a mother of two loving, caring sons. Four years ago, I moved across the country from Virginia to El Paso because my ex-husband was stationed here for the army. We had been together for seven years, and life with him was all we knew. I also didn’t want my boys to grow up so far away from him. I made the selfless decision to move to a place with no family or support, although he and I were just a month into our separation. He alienated me from my family and friends, so it didn’t seem like the wrong idea at the time.

Fast forward to today, I am stuck here because my ex-husband will not agree to modifying the geographic restriction that was placed in our divorce court order. I signed it because he gave me his word that if a career opportunity arose, he would “give me permission” to leave as long as he knew where his sons were. When the time came, he refused. I had an opportunity to secure a federal job but had to turn it down.

A little over a month ago, my oldest son expressed how uncomfortable and unsafe he felt around his father. He also mentioned this in March because his father kept speaking poorly of me to him. Here we are in November, still dealing with the same thing. My son comes home crying, confused, blank, and not himself. He has autism and doesn’t understand why any of this is going on. His father ignores my son's mental health and takes no accountability for the trauma he is causing this innocent child. The father has convinced himself that I am forcing these children to say they are uncomfortable and scared by talking crazy about him, etc. He’s projecting his actions on me and completely ignoring the mental state of my son. The narcissistic abuse is truly heartbreaking. I knew how to deal with it, but seeing my son have to is too much.

This man has harassed me, constantly threatening to show up to my home unannounced, legal threats every day, and even moved 10 minutes away from me. Last year, I had to move because I didn’t feel safe with him having my address because he threatened to hurt himself and other people in my apartment parking lot. He has my address now because of the court system. I’ve reached out to law enforcement, county attorneys, and even spoke with domestic relations about how unsafe my children and I feel. No one is listening or helping because there hasn’t been anything physical YET. They state they care about the children’s well-being, but no one is listening to the state of my child’s mental health because of a court order. My son is now on medication for the anxiety induced by this situation with his father. I don’t care if I’m the only one listening to my baby, I will fight the entire world for my sons.

The only way we can legally get to safety is by hiring an attorney and going back to court so I can legally move back home where we have support and better resources for my son's autism. I’m a single mother and need any financial help I can get for these legal fees. I just want this mess to end so we can live in peace and not fear. Please help.